Animals on the Underground

Why oh why have I not seen this before

Big thanks to Ross Sleight who sent me a link to a top concept of a person who looks at the tube map and sees animals:



There are quite a few of these on the site and not only that, Nick Thomas (genius!) has got together with London Transport Museum and is selling them as T Shirts. I think you can also send in other animals you've "seen" on the tube, so get cracking and you might find your drunken magic eye/magic mushroom induced staring coming back to you as a T Shirt. Sheer genius.

Cheers Ross. (Ross has also written a top article on the power of blogging which has gained me many brownie points at work - "I only blog for research and commerical reasons" - it's a great excuse!)

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Monday, February 16, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/animals-on-underground.html

Foot in mouth

How romantic - Part 2

Just listening to Heart FM before going to work (Capital's Chris Tarrant's on holiday and I can't take Neil Fox) and the DJ Jono Coleman has been asking people for stories of when people have put their foot in their mouth. A lady came on with the following story.

She was getting on the tube with her parents and they sat on those seats in groups of four for two people on each side. When they sat down a guy was there sitting with his legs wide apart "As they do", the woman said. She recognised him as an ex-boyfriend and said. "Do you mind closing your legs, as I've been there and you're really not that big".

Her mother gave her a withering look and ex-boyfriend rapidly closed his legs. Class.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Monday, February 16, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/foot-in-mouth.html

Happy Valentine's Day

How romantic

I was going to tell a story of how my eyes locked with a tall dark handsome stranger on the District Line, who I got chatting with and who had noticed my camera and said, "Why, aren't you Annie Mole, from London Underground Blog? " and I said, "Why yes, how observant of you, wanna come back to my place?", then I would announce our engagement (after divorcing the ex Mr Mole of course) and we would both live happily every after and I'd invite you all to our wedding and make you all godparents to our children. Yeah right.

Instead, this little story from Rob in Essex who signed my guestbook, is more what Valentine's Day on the tube is really like:

"As I closed the door button a young lad holding a bunch of flowers for his sweetheart on Valentine's Day started to panic as he wanted to board the train. Too late! The flowers got stuck in the doors - before I could re-open them he pulled out the flowers minus the blooms. He threw the stalks on the platform in temper and stormed off."

Hope everyone who celebrated the most genuinely commercial day in the world had a fab time. Does anyone actually know who St Valentine was, without looking it up on Google?

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Sunday, February 15, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/happy-valentines-day.html

Welcome Australians

Going Underground Mentioned in Sydney Morning Herald

Good-day mates - welcome if you've found my site from a mention in the Sydney Morning Herald in Column 8 - if you're looking for the London Underground train drivers announcements, this is the link you need on my main site - going underground.

But if you want to stick around here, there's lots of other tube stuff. Funnily enough (or not), there's been a bit of an Oz theme to my tube diary lately - I reported on the story about the Australian guy who had pork chops for shoes and the legal stuff surrounding him, as that's now made it as a funny london underground advert (apologies in advance for my Aussie accent).

Also there's a comparison of Aussie subway rules & etiquette with London's unofficial tube rules.

Many thanks to the person who told me the reference was from Column 8 in the Sydney Morning Herald. And it's great that most of you seem to have got here through Google from that little reference - I did wonder why I was getting so many visits from down under. Cheers and have fun.

Oh and I promise I hardly mention rugby.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Friday, February 13, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/welcome-australians.html

Celeb Spot

Rob Brydon out of Marion & Geoff spot

I know it's Friday the 13th and not wanting to tempt fate, but today I was sort of lucky with my tube celeb spot. I actually got a British Snail SWT train from Richmond as the "fast" train to Waterloo was supposedly on time. Just ahead of me was a bloke who looked remarkably like the brill comic actor Rob Brydon who was carrying a copy of WORD magazine. Omigod, top actor and writer (Cruise of the Gods was sheer genius), carrying top mag (read it WORD online free for one month only - you'll be hooked). But Rob Brydon is one of those people who looks like anyone. The sort of person that you may think is the bloke that lives a few doors down the road from you or is someone you see on the tube each day, and you're thinking that's why I know you. But he also looked like the bloke out of Marion and Geoff.

Anyway I sat as near as possible to him, which is difficult on a packed South West Trains carriage, but I was too near to take a picture without breaking my back, as he was behind me. So I thought, I need some evidence that it's really him. Nothing he said to his female companion helped, he was engrossed in WORD. But the first page he turned to in WORD was an article about comedian Harry Hill. Not necessarily enough evidence by itself.

Then his mobile phone went. Brill, he's bound to say something actorly. So I turned down my mp3 headphones. "You're what's known as a fad" he said to whoever was on the other end of the line. That's sort of actorly. Then not much else, asking about the person's band - sort of celebby. Then "Oh I'm not up to much today, doing a few voiceovers" - Bingo, who else would say something like that?

So we got to Waterloo station and him and female partner hung behind, clearly not in a rush like the rest of us. Was I sad enough to wait around to see where he got off and possibly blag a picture. No, I decided I wasn't.

Anyway, at Waterloo Underground station I was standing on the Bakerloo line platform heading for Piccadilly Circus. Who should turn up a few people down from me, still with his copy of WORD magazine - Rob Bloody Brydon. As Harry Hill himself would say "What are the chances of that happening?".

My camera was now at the ready. I took a really blurry picture of him on the platform and he stepped right back - Damn he knows who I am, he knows he has a mad Avid Merrion tube celebrity spotting stalker.

We got onto a fairly empty carriage. I sort of had a chance to sit opposite him. Again, too close, too obvious for a photo opportunity. So I sat diagonally behind and managed to get some shots of the side of his head reading WORD.


He got off at Piccadilly Circus, so what more proof did I need - Piccadilly Circus, home of theatre luvvies, also where my Dr Who Peter Davison celeb spot departed and Golden Square, just round the corner, is home of loads of people who make TV and radio commercials, where he may have been heading for his voiceover. Indeed at work, we've walked past Kevin Spacey making mobile phone calls in our office stairwell - our "studios" at Archer Street are the home to lots of little arty/meedja/production/webby/pilates/architect type outfits.

He chose the stairs to leave the platform level. Stalking ended at that point - nothing but broken escalators will make me face the ricketty, vertigo inducing, head spinning, spiral staircase at Piccadilly Circus, particularly not on Friday 13th.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Friday, February 13, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/celeb-spot.html

Penang or Angel - the choice is yours

The tube might spoil the view

The thing I like about some London Underground ads, is they're based on the common knowledge that every Londoner knows the transport systems is ......well, let's say not perfect. Rubbish, in fact. I still find it quite funny that people from overseas read this blog or goingunderground.net and think - "what the hell are they moaning about, London's transport system is fantastic and a lot better than ours". I'm sure it's a case of the grass is always greener on the other side.

Anyway, here's a tropical view from the other side and a public announcement tube type apology to go with it:

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Thursday, February 12, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/penang-or-angel-choice-is-yours.html

Top Station Assistant Announcement

King's Cross Overcrowding (sorry, crowding)

My colleague has just told me about his journey on the way in to work this morning. He was waiting as usual on the Westbound Piccadilly line platform at King's Cross along with several hundred other people, and heard the following, from the station assistant:

"Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen. I am sorry to announce that London Underground is not running a competition to see how many people we can get into the front carriage of a tube. So please move right along the platform to allow others to board the train quickly and more comfortably".

Update - Metro Momento

Headline on the letters page of today's Metro about overcrowding, when I thought it might apply to yesterday's pukey story below:

"Please ease our queasy squeeze"

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Wednesday, February 11, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/top-station-assistant-announcement.html

Speaking of Station Assistants

Who is this ego maniac?

I don't know why more people don't stare at this picture in the camera/passport picture/film shop in Piccadilly Circus station, as I caught a woman doing this morning:



Who is this guy? Why are there so many pictures of him? Does he not get freaked out by seeing all these mini me's staring back at him each day?

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Wednesday, February 11, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/speaking-of-station-assistants.html

Charing Cross platform to be avoided

Tube sickness

I was sitting opposite a woman on the Bakerloo line this morning, who was asleep and then woke up looking a bit - well all over the place. When we came to Charing Cross she suddenly shot from the tube as though she had missed her stop previously or was about to miss this one. She then sat down on a platform bench, which I thought was a bit funny as there is no interchange at Charing Cross, so she couldn't be going anywhere, perhaps she was waiting for a friend.

I suddenly realised she was indeed waiting for her friends, Ralph and Huey, as she blurted out a massive technicolour yawn and threw up. Poor thing. Bearing in mind this was at about 9.30 in the morning, she must have been feeling hugely sick.

And, before you ask, no I didn't get a picture. I do have some standards.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Tuesday, February 10, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/charing-cross-platform-to-be-avoided.html

Today's Metro Momento - a prediction

Kerry Wins

Yes, every English newspaper, including Metro, will have something it in about Kerry's landslide victory. Anyone from The States reading this shouldn't think that the whole of the UK has developed a sudden interest in Senator John Kerry and the Presidential elections.

No this Kerry is far, far more important. It's little ex Atomic Kitten, wife of some bloke out of Westlife, and sometimes TV presenter, Kerry McFadden ne� Katona from "I'm a celebrity (and we use the term celebrity very, very loosely), Get me out of Here!", who has been crowned Queen of the Jungle. Best election report I've read of Kerry's mudslide victory is in the Indie

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Tuesday, February 10, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/todays-metro-momento-prediction.html

Today's Metro Momentos

It's Hallmark Day on Saturday

Just in case you haven't noticed, on Saturday, it's the patron saint of Hallmark, Clinton, Thorntons, Interflora, lastminute.com, supriseyourwoman.com, surpriseyourman.com, (Rich you owe me), and any other company which celebrates the day when long time married men rush into petrol stations and railway stations to grab a bouquet of limp flowers.

True to form, Metro follow up their "Love on the Commute" feature and try to get people who have "spotted some totty on the train", to make the first move.

Being "innudated with messages", Metro publish eleven of them, but the chances of anyone recognising themselves are slim. But who knows, one of them could be you.....

"At 5.36pm, Liverpool Street to Gidea Park. third carriage. Tony? What's on your iPod? Loving the new haircut!"

"Mr tall, slim, with the most charismatic smile, in your twenties with your companion, the heavy duty wheely case, I wouldn't mind signing to you again on the opposite platform."

"You have jet black hair, wear signature black gloves, a long coat and carry a tan briefcase. I catch your eye on the 8.20/8.30am train from Pinner going into the City."

My favourite is this one:

"I don't see you often enough, either because you don't get up early in the morning or miss your train frequently.....You are half asleep most of the time, so I would like to say "Open your eyes or you'll never know what you're missing". From a wondrous thunderbolt who gets on at Baker Street and wants to brighten your life"

Check out Isawyoutoday.com for a website that's been trying to cosy up commuters for a few years now. Don't forget to invite me to the wedding if you get hitched. Love can happen.

Update

Bradley kindly spotted a Valentine's campaign on the tube website, were the London Underground are desperate to find some story or figures about people meeting on the tube - if you can stand the bright red on their site, fill out their Valentine's survey. Igoring the questions about sex and marital status - I predict the answers will be yes, no, no.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Monday, February 09, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/todays-metro-momentos.html

Metro Momento 2

Your train is crowded, not overcrowded

More spinned against than spinning, The Rail Safety and Standards Board has banned the term "overcrowding", saying that crowding is a healthy sign of the popularity of the railway system. The piece in Metro says that "While a journey in a confined, unventilated space may be uncomfortable, it is not dangerous, the watchdog has concluded". Cathy Gilleece of said watchdogs said: "Our project is about crowding and that's what we are calling it".

Now just don't think this rigid use of terminology is a 21st century spin thing. It reminded me of a statement from 1955, when the then Chairman of London Transport, Sir John Eliot, helpfully responded to reports of passenger discomfort, with: "They are not crammed in. They cram themselves in".

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Monday, February 09, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/metro-momento-2.html

Tell me why, I don't like Mondays

Tell me why, I don't like Mondays

It's the worst day of the week and the day the Evening Standard decides that everyone else will be thinking "I'm an employee, Get me out of here".

The ad below is not encouraging people to work on the London Underground, even though you might think that at first



(PS I'm too scared to make any more postings like "I would rather stick needles in my eyes than work for the tube" as I almost got strung up last time.....well no more posts like that this month....er week).

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Monday, February 09, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/tell-me-why-i-dont-like-mondays.html

Another top tube ad campaign

Greedy? Genius? Well, which one are you?

I'm sure you couldn't have failed to see the massive tube ad campaign around at the moment. The teaser campaign has single words like Greedy? and Genius? with no clue as to what it might be about



Then there's others at platform level where you are asked "Do you trust the person standing next to you?" Which unless you knew the person all Londoners would automatically answer with a resounding "NO".

Then there are the in-carriage ones with the word Genius and an arrow pointing at some unfortunate soul beneath:



I'm pleased I finally managed to get a reasonable picture of the "Genius" one yesterday. The advertisements I've seen on the District Line, don't work as well, as the arrow isn't close enough to the person's head. On this picture our "Genius" is clearly pondering life, the universe and everything and the paper protects his anonymity to quietly get on and be a genius in his own time, without some idiot woman taking his picture and unmasking him to the "world".

Oh, just in case you're interested, the campaign is for an online gaming company, 888.com.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Saturday, February 07, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/another-top-tube-ad-campaign.html

News from the Mayor of London

Too many jokes

As Chandler from Friends would say.

I got my copy of The Londoner through my letterbox yesterday and haven't had to time to read the whole thing yet, but it's a laugh a minute as far as the tube and London Transport is concerned:

Front page story: "Buffy the Vampire Slayer actress Alyson Hannigan praised London Transport as she helped to promote Totally London's theatre ticket offers"

Page 3 story - Transport system will rise to the Olympic challenge. The short feature ends "Customer services on the Underground will employ bi- and multi-lingual staff to help spectators from overseas". Cool, having two languages will make all the difference, unless they are the usual ones of "Gibberish and Mumbling" that many staff on the underground use.

Page 7 - "Do you ever glance at the driver of the Victoria Line service as it pulls into the platform and suspect that he or she is not actually driving the train? If so you are right".

This is not an attempt at surrealism or celebrating the fact that most tube drivers that I see, seem to be reading the paper or having a cup of tea when they're "driving" the train. It's a full page article on Automatic Train Operation, way too trainspottery for me to go into on this blog, but basically you'll be reassured to hear it's all done by computers and coded pulses. "Your driver has no control over speed or braking."

Page 8 - full page on the joys of the Oystercard. Too much of an easy target, I'm not even going to go there.

Double page centre spread - What Londoners think about London - The Annual London Survey carried out by MORI for the Greater London Authority provides a snapshot of day to day life in the capital.

"Almost one in four (23 per cent) of Londoners now mention transport as one of the best things about living in London. This is a significant rise since last year. And 74 per cent of people say that London is a city that is easy to get around.

However improving transport remains a priority for Londoners. Top of the list is reducing traffic congestion followed by more reliable buses and Tubes, more investment in the Tube, cheaper fares and improved personal safety on public transport"

Nicely followed by:

Page 15 - "Horror thriller Creep about a woman being stalked through a warren of secret tunnels, is being partly shot on the Tube".

Read The Londoner yourself here. It rox.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Friday, February 06, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/news-from-mayor-of-london.html

Right above your nose

It's like Piccadilly Circus in here

Yesterday I mentioned how annoying it was to be working in the middle of a major tourist attraction (London, the place to be right now), but sometimes it's only by being a tourist that you notice amazing things around you. I'm normally too busy running to work, grabbing a sandwich or a Chai Latte or a bento box for lunch, running to and from meetings, and getting then thinking of quick escape routes to get out of Zone 1 as fast as possible to get home.

I walk past Piccadilly Circus at least twice a day (and goodness knows how long this has been going on), but it was only when I emerged from the station yesterday morning that I tharwt I thaw some Coke bottles getting on a tube. Don't think I'm hallucinating. I did a double take and stared at the MASSIVE Coca Cola movie on the enormously famous and enormous advertising hoardings at Piccadilly Circus.

Yep, there were definitely some Marilyn Monroe style Coke bottles jostling their way on and off a tube. I was late for the office, so vowed to catch them later.

I came back at lunchtime, stood at Piccadilly Circus with my camera at the ready and looked up at Coca Cola ad campaigns through the ages. I was getting a stiff neck and beginning to again think I had been hallucinating or dreaming them. I saw some bottles getting onto double decker buses and got a bit happier. Then bollox, more Coca Cola ad campaigns through the years. More and more of them.

After about six or seven minutes, I was just about to lose the will to live. Then bingo, there they were, the bottles on the tube, the Coke commuters. Right above my nose.





I managed to grab a couple more shots on the way home:





Perhaps I should do this tourist thing a bit more often, although I've had a strange craving for Lemon flavoured cokes all night.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Thursday, February 05, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/right-above-your-nose.html

Today's Metro Momento

Do children reading Metro defraud the memory of Diana?

Apologies for lapsing into Daily Mail speak, but today's Metro (the free morning paper given out at tube and train stations) saw a spate (well, four) letters of reaction against some maniac in Monday's Metro who said that schoolchildren shouldn't be allowed to read Metro as they weren't proper commuters.

"I wasn't aware there was a sign on all Metro stands saying "To be read by grumpy blokes only". How ridiculous to decide that only certain people are "allowed" to read a free newspaper. Have a word with yourselves." Helen, Croydon

and

"We are schoolchildren who travel on the train (and put up with the shocking service) and are just as entitled to read Metro as anyone, assuming that it is funded by adverts, not train fares." Sophie, Jenny & Alex, EC2

As Sam Cooke said "Schoolchildren taking any sort of interest in current affairs should be encouraged, even if it is just so they can keep up to date on the new cannabis laws".

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Wednesday, February 04, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/todays-metro-momento.html

London is cool - it's official

Lonely Planet decides London is cooler than ever

It's a funny old travel guide, The Lonely Planet. You can spend weeks in a country with more of your head stuck in the guide than just feeling around the place with your nose. When I was in Mexico years ago, we saw so many people wandering around with their noses in the backpackers bible (ourselves included) that it was a running joke with everyone else we met in the same position.

Since starting GoingUnderground five years ago (which amazingly is on The Lonely Planet's website) and also since working near Piccadilly Circus, it's second nature (although weird) to see the town you live in as a major tourist spot. When you're popping out to get a sarnie, or simply trying to get home, you curse tourists, for getting in your way. When you're stuck on the tube you can't believe that people choose to come to London for a holiday.

A couple of years ago, London was branded by The Lonely Planet as "as a joyless, decaying place where the locals are more likely to attack you than extend a welcome". But in the 2004 edition which is published in March, London is "The place to be right now."

The Evening Standard, reporting on this, stated the obvious caveat: "Not surprisingly, transport is branded "the biggest bugbear for Londoners and the challenge Mayor Ken Livingstone is most keen to face".

Let's hope he does. But speaking of cool, when I was sitting at Glamoursmith (Hammersmith) waiting for a train home, I saw a group of young goths get off there. There were three guys dressed in black with black baggy trousers and bulky boots. An amazingly attractive girl was in the middle of them. Black hair, whiter than white complexion, sooty black eyeliner, a nose ring which suddenly made sense of nose rings, and a blood red velvet top. As they walked by me I noticed that clinging to the girl's back was a rucksack in the shape of a small black coffin.

Now that's cool.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Wednesday, February 04, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/london-is-cool-its-official.html

All change please

Warning - this tube ad could change your life

Seems to have been a few days of me spotting some good ads on the tube. I really like the VSO ad below as it does highlight the everyday life of a commuter. Simple things like noticing the tube to be "strangely empty", getting a funny email at work, getting a decent sandwich, getting home OK cos of no delays and then seeing an ad which makes you give up the whole rat race:



"You stood up not because there were no seats but because you wanted to be counted".

And for once the campaign is actually carried through to the website.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Tuesday, February 03, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/all-change-please.html

No sitting

Sitting not allowed - penalty £200

At last, this morning I saw with my very own eyes one of the spoof ads that are appearing over the tube.

There was No Talking, and No Eye Contact and actually I did see No Busking for myself, but at the time thought it was an official one that the busker had just peeled off and stuck on his guitar.

So now, ta-dah - the picture of "No Sitting", from the Bakerloo line:



For more on getting a seat, check out this section from goingunderground.net

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Monday, February 02, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/02/no-sitting.html