A little bit of culture

Arts at Gloucester Road

Gloucester Road (well the District and Circle line bit of it) has always been known as a place where art is displayed in little alcoves along the platform walls. But yesterday as I came back from a meeting there, I heard classical music being played in the ticket area as I went through the barriers.

No buskers around and it was way too good to be a busker anyway. Me and another guy were looking round and staring at the ceiling to see where the sound was coming from. Hardly anyone else looked remotely concerned, particularly a couple of station assistants chatting in the corner.

It was about 11.30, and not many people about, but I certainly didn't notice it when I went steaming through the station and a few hours before. So I asked the station assistant who it was. He didn't know and said "It's just a compilation one of the guys has done from his computer - there's no label on it"

So yet another mystery. It was definitely a piano concerto, something like Satie but definitely not as contemporary. But whatever it was quite soothing, perhaps it will catch on at other stations.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Thursday, April 29, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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The things people talk to their partners about

What's unique about Mile End (or Liverpool Street) and how many one unders are there?

Two very weird conversations taking place between boyfriend and girlfriend, strangely both emailed to me today - (have I missed "Have a conversation about the tube with your partner Day"?)

Konstantin from www.londonleben.co.uk emailed me with the following query:

"I overheard a conversation last night - in the tube of course. A guy said to his girlfriend "Apparently there is only one station, where you can start a journey and reach every other tube station by changing trains once only. It's Mile End."

I'm not sure about that. I believe it would work for King's Cross and Liverpool Street as well. Was he just showing off? I spent an hour today on the tube, checking the tube map and I still don't know."

I tended to agree with Konstantin in that it works for Liverpool Street too. King's Cross is a no no, as although it is the station with the most lines running through it, you would have to change twice to get onto the Waterloo and City Line. Anyone any other views?

Also in a fit of morbidity Rachel asked "How many people fall under tubes per year? How many are suicides and how many are accidents?

I reckon about one a week, and my boyfriend reckons one a day. Any idea?".

I could help Rachel by finding out from tubeprune that tube driver District Dave reckons there are about 100 suicides a year. A report on the tube's website from March 2003 says there were only 9 non suicide fatalities that year - or one per 100 million customer journeys.

And I've no idea where I found this out originally but 11am is the peak hour for tube suicides and Victoria and King's Cross the most "popular" stations for them - originally from my tube facts page.

Now I hope the couples go back to arguing about more normal things like who's going to put the bins out.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Tuesday, April 27, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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I am not obsessed with men's underwear

I am not obsessed with men's underwear

If I repeat it often enough it will become true. And I can't help it if men send me in pictures of their boxer shorts and likewise I can't help it if men insist on flashing their Calvins to everyone on the Tube.



I never knew men wore colour co-ordinated knickers before. I can't say I have ever, ever, worn a pair of kecks to deliberately match my belt.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Monday, April 26, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Today's Metro Momento

Heartbreak at Hither Green

It's the last Monday in the month and the day when Metro try to play Cupid and match commuters who fancy other commuters. Maybe this month's lot are getting more into Lonely Hearts than others I've seen, or maybe the people who make up letters in Metro are coming over all Mills & Boon. This one, from the poetically named Allegra, is a classic:

"Surrounded by Japanese tourists, you were reading John Lennon's Definitive Biography, and my heart went boom. It was the 5.49pm train from Charing Cross to Orpington. When you sat down, you seemed annoyed at the noise being made by the guys behind you. It made me look at you again and if there is such a thing as a thunderbolt of love - I got it. My heart swelled and I couldn't move. I saw you looking at me in the reflection of the window but our eyes only met once and I thought my chest would explode. When I got off at Hither Green, I turned to look back at you and you were doing the same. When you saw me your face broke out into the most beautiful smile. I'm just sorry I didn't give you my number. I'm also sorry because I haven't seen you again because I have looked for you every day since."

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Monday, April 26, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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It's Temple

Only station name on the London Underground that's also on the Paris Metro

There you go for all people who may be looking for this answer for a quiz - someone emailed me today and it's one of those things I have stored in my head (for pub quizzes and the like). I was surprised it wasn't easier for Rupert to find through Google than having to come to me first. But I think you would have to already know that it was Temple in order to find the answer.

Ask Jeeves comes up with it if you don't actually ask the question and just input: "station paris metro and london underground", but for once Google lets you down and I think you'd have to try quite a few search combinations (without Temple obviously) to find the answer.

Well perhaps not any more, if Google now sends people this way.

Oh, if anyone wants proof - Temple is on the Circle and District Line of the Tube and on the romantically named Line 3 of the Metro.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Monday, April 26, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Summer in London

Summertime and the tubes are buggered

Circle Line completely out of action today. District Line only running to Earl's Court - but hey the sun was shining, as witnessed by the piccie below:



Still didn't put people in a cheerful enough mood to give any dosh to the accordian player on my carriage - I bet he thought he was onto a winner.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Saturday, April 24, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Fighting Fat at Glamoursmith

I've just come back from a ginormous veggie meal at The Gate in Hammersmith (according to Metro, Alicia Silverstone's favourite restaurant in London) and feel like Monty Python's Mr Creosote, so thought it was kinda appropriate to see a really slim woman reading a book about how to Fight Fat After 40 at Glamoursmith.



Why is it mainly slim people who read dieting books, or is this a myth and I just think that it's only slim people who read dieting books? I was tempted to ask her for a copy as (fooking ell) I will be 40 later this year. She didn't look remotely 40 though so I'm hoping she was just reading for research purposes. Hopefully, she would have said to me "Why you don't look almost 40 yourself either, surely you are just asking me to get a story for your blog, and stop taking pictures of me you mad stalking woman".

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Saturday, April 24, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Coke Bottles on Film and Boxers Shorts

What will you send in next?

I can't believe I get a number of emails from people sending me various bits and bobs and stories and jpgs and stuff after reading something from the blog. It's really sweet of you all and it's nice to know that my journey is having some sort of effect on other people's commutes or thoughts on the tube.

Asten sent me in a movie of the Coke bottles getting on the tube at Piccadilly Circus (yes you read that correctly even though I thought I was mad when I first saw them in January)



And Ian Dolby finally found those boxer shorts with Shepherds Bush on the front that he'd been waxing lyrical about for ages.



However they didn't have Arsenal on the back of them although he said:

"No Arsenal on the back - but I did say that was a rumour as I hadn't opened the packet. You could also get "Wapping" on the front but modesty (and some would say the Trades' Description Act) prevented me. Actually, Wapping would probably have been a more appropriate rear-printed slogan for the group of American sounding tourists in front of me."

Also thanks to commenting stalwart Bradley for sending me a link to his report of the car that drove onto the District Line yesterday at Kew and screwed up the service between Richmond and Turnham Green for half a day. Fortunately I listen to Capital Radio in the mornings and I heard about it and timed my journey so I could go on by British Snail instead.

Cheers guys much appreciated.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Friday, April 23, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Today's Metro Momento

Why we see red over "I'm on the train" calls

Researchers at York Uni have clearly nothing to do as they've carried out a study on why we find other people's mobile phone conversations irritating. It's nothing to do with the loudness of people saying "I'm on the tube" or "I'm just going into a tunnel" - apparently it's because we don't know what the person on the other end is saying.



The photo above was originally from TubePrune's site and was taken by Donald McGarr.

"What really drives millions of Britons mad is simply, they normally only hear one side of the conversation. 'Conversations only work if there is a general agreement. There is a need to understand what is said and to talk back' said Professor Andrew Monk.

His team exposed 64 people (huge sample - WTF are universities doing?) waiting for a bus or on a train to a staged discussion - half on mobiles and half face to face - at different volumes. In all cases, the phone conversations annoyed volunteers more".

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Thursday, April 22, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Move along the platform

More or less effective than the mime artists?

After coming back to work from a meeting I noticed that Vauxhall had a much more obvious way of telling people to move down the platform



Oi, it's less crowded you idiots, so don't congregate around the platform near the entrance, move up to the front (or indeed the back) of the train and you may well get a seat.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Thursday, April 22, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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The tube have a new band

I thought this was a spoof ad

Or one of those ads that was meant to warn us that doing something or other on the tube - walking slowly, talking, smiling, breathing causes delays.



But apparently there is a real band called "The Delays" - the tube really ought to sponsor them.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Thursday, April 22, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Train Tourette's Syndrome

Bless his little cotton socks

On the way to yet another expo today I was standing on the District Line (delays at Kings Cross seemed to have screwed up the whole system) and a little boy in a blue school uniform was munching away on a dairylea and ham cracker sarnie and playing up. When laying on his mother didn't work or bumping into her, he started to recite the names of random train stations - "Sunbury, Addlestone, Staines, Aldgate East, Turnham Green". "Shut up or I'll tell your teacher," his mum said, much to my relief. After all who'd want their son to grow up to be a PA system.

However, in a strange echo of the guy who found offence about the London Marathon Adidas ad in last week's Metro with lots of swear words in it, including "twat", the little boy took a sudden interest in his mum's Metro. So said at top of his voice - "Look they're naked". I looked from my superior standing position and it was some sort of "art" with a picture of two tailor's dummies.

Many thanks to Green Fairy for blogging The Sun's outrage at the London marathon ad:

Rob, of Sheffield, South Yorks, told The Sun: "I was reading it on a break and suddenly I saw the word 't**t'. Imagine the embarrassment of a mum whose six-year-old son is asking her what a 't**t' is?"

Green Fairy said "It's someone who rings up a tabloid newspaper to complain about a mildly rude word appearing in advert in a newspaper only given out first thing in the morning to commuters in case a child somewhere in the country with reading skills far advanced of their age should stumble somehow upon a copy, pick out that word from all the others and march up to their mother in the middle of a church social demanding their childhood innocence be stolen away with an immediate etymological definition, darling."



There's no way this particular little boy would have been able to have read the words on this ad - most five or six year olds are really bored with small type as they find it too difficult to read, but I'm sure he'd have more to say about the half naked women in The Sun, like the "naked" people in Metro. It also took me about twenty minutes to find the offending t word. It'll be easier for you as there's only a small section above, but imagine this as a double page spread.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Wednesday, April 21, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Dot matrix on your desktop

Bakerloo Line users can experience the delights of a tube platform indicator on their desktop

With Tubetrack you can download a little program which sits on your desktop, so you can see when the next three tube trains are supposedly due to arrive at your chosen station.

Hopefully the platform indicators don't include some of the rather random platform indicators I saw a couple of days ago.

Have a look at the tube ETA (estimated time of arrival) website it's based on.

Many thanks to Ralf and Matt who sent me the link to this within four minutes of each other. Cheers guys.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Tuesday, April 20, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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God, some people are cheerful

Strange Google referrers

I very rarely blog my search engine referrals, but in the last 24 hours, there seem to have been some particularly weird people who came to this blog after looking for the following items - sadly they will be sort of disappointed:

pictures of animals going mad because of trains - that'll be those pesky horses in the tube tunnels - Google think this blog is top - literally - on that one

london marathon 2004 fatalities (how could this blog be the 1st entry?) - fortunately, as far as I know, this year no one died.

pest control london underground - sort of brings up a reference to those pesky horses again - however most of the pests on the Tube are blokes who sit with their legs apart (far more annoying to me than women, myself included, putting on some slap - although it obviously winds some people up)

Great, I also have a stalker - looking for Annie April 2004

And scarily Rob Brydon will now know I've been stalking him

I'll end with my number two slot for "blog people captured by zombies trying to escape"

Fantastic, yet scary. Google I love ya!

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Tuesday, April 20, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Rhinos on the tube

Congrats to all the marathon runners

It's the first time I've ever been to see the London Marathon in the flesh, and it was quite strange being on the Tube with lots of soaking wet people wrapped in tin foil cloaks wearing strange medallions round their necks (Jimmy Saville in a sauna would have felt at home). Tourists must have wondered WTF was going on, but when they left and saw the streets covered in rhinos, santas, fairies, policemen and firemen in shorts and people dressed as chickens, eggs and toilets they must have finally realised that the Brits are as eccentric as they originally thought.

On the way back, one of the runners, who had fortunately managed to get a seat (you try standing on the tube after running 26.2 miles) was telling his friends about his outward journey and the usual delays, but the driver had tried to lighten things up by saying "Well, at least the delay wasn't caused by a rhino getting stuck in the doors."



I was sort of tempted to grab one of the discarded foil cloaks from a bin and fashion a medal for myself, as all marathon runners got free travel on the Tube today. But I looked pretty much like a sodden, bedraggled, bag lady already, without rummaging in bins too.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Sunday, April 18, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Elephant and Gibberish

The next train is for safdkladshlghlkahgi

OK I know I've been manning an exhibition stand for four days. I can hardly think straight, talk straight or walk straight but it looks like they were really taking the piss with the platform indicators at Piccadilly Circus this evening (Bakerloo Line, southbound for those who care)



Still Elephant & Castle is one of the station names where out of towners and tourists are most likely to think "You're having a laugh aren't you?" so maybe they thought no one would notice.



(To see the best full scan of this map check out Geoff (tube challenge guy) Marshall's link).

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Saturday, April 17, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Where I've been for the last three days

Another DLR day tomorrow

The prospect of riding on more driverless trains beckons tomorrow as I head off to Excel for the last time this week. I actually saw Richard Herring (comedian and big time blogger) on Wednesday and from my stand said "Richard Herring" in a way designed to sound as though I personally knew him. Apart from having had a little banner to his sponsorship page on this blog for quite some time, there's no reason at all for him to know who I am. But bless him, he stopped, as you would, I suppose, if some woman shouted out like a long lost friend. And we had a brief chat, also with his mate Tony Gardner, who now actually looked more familar than his sponsorship page picture.

However, Richard Herring's blog entry from Wednesday summed up my experience of the last three days much more adequately than I could, so here's a bit:

"The Docklands Light Railway was packed with men who looked more like the traditional image of the ostrich: very thin with wide staring eyes (whether through fear or obsession only they could tell you) and no cakes or ale in sight. They were clutching their Marathon magazines, as if in some scenario where they had arranged to meet on a blind date and used that as a means of recognition, only to arrive at the appointed hour to find everyone in the place has a Marathon magazine. "

The rest in context is here.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Saturday, April 17, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Today's Metro Momento

Another "Eats Shoots and Leaves" moment

For some unknown reason Metro had a little box on etiquette - it was fairly tongue in cheek - not being the last person in an email exchange, not putting on your auto "out of office" reply when going to lunch.... etc, etc. It did have a piece of Tube etiquette for men (Christ knows why it was men only) asking them to "give up seats for pregnant and elderly women".

I never thought that elderly women could get pregnant. Unless their definition of elderly is women in their late forties.

Fortunately, on my long train journey to Docklands this morning, I noticed that the North London Link guys got it right, with a sign saying (not asking) to - "give up your seat for a pregnant or elderly person".

Wonder why you never see signs like this on the Tube? Probably cos the head honchos at the Tube are worried about having another grammatical quandry or can't quite cope with the image that would go with it and, like the Japanese, know it would be open to mass spoofing, general confusion or a barrage of letters in Metro.





For more on giving up seats see the tube etiquette section on goingunderground.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Friday, April 16, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Dogs must be carried......

Yeah right

Just try carrying this one



Fantastic picture sent to me from Frank Timmer from www.deutschedoggenfans.de.

For more on one of my favourite signs on the tube - check out this entry.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Thursday, April 15, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Two rare pictures from me

You won't see these blogged too often

I had to get up at the crack of dawn to get to an exhibition in the Docklands this morning, so got a rare picture of a full stack of Metro's at Richmond station - there's normally none or only a few left when I get there. (The eagle eyed will see the normal delays on the District Line)



Also, due to the Silverlink train I wanted being cancelled I had to get the DLR and I know you won't believe it, but the only seat available was one at the front of the train. So, in full trainspotter mode, below is a view of tracks from the driver's vantage point. Remember DLR trains don't have drivers and are operated automatically, so it gives you the perfect opportunity to sit in the front seat and pretend to drive the train if you're that way inclined.

London Underground; Tube Posted by Unknown Thursday, April 15, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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