I got on the Piccadilly Line after a great night out seeing Cyberjam with a friend (don't believe the reviews about why there are free tickets, it was really good fun). At Knightsbridge three really loud Northern blokes got on and one holding the door open for his late and bladdered mate - who'd obviously been doing some late night shopping at Harrods.
They then proceeded to do that "what are you looking at" stuff to my end of the carriage and one guy in particular who decided to sit opposite me was really agressive, blowing raspberries (how childish) and giving the whole carriage the finger. So I and the four people around me said nothing, stared ahead and hoped they'd shut up. They didn't. The bloke opposite with an eyebrow stud said "Aaaargh" a lot, continued to blow raspberries and gave the finger right into people's faces.
As my ex-husband would say, they were "asking for trouble" and he probably would have belted them. It was an occasion when part of me wished he had been with me, for safety, he's a big guy, and another part was glad he wasn't as I know he would have hit one of them.
We got to the next stop, South Kensington, and the four people around me legged off the tube, to a chorus of "Big Bum" to one of the fleeing women from Eyebrow Stud.
"You f**king cowards" I thought, "There is no way all of you would have normally got off there". So I was left by myself with the drunks and thought, "You bastards are not driving me off the train".
Amazingly with less of an audience they quietened down. "Is this the right track love", said Eyebrow Stud to me. Paramount Tube rule - ignore everyone around you. Do not say anything. Do not make eye contact. Do not get out a book. Do not do anything to give him the chance to make a comment. Look at an area above his head and focus on it. Very much like this lady and Tony Blair. It worked. Fortunately they got off at Gloucester Road and I breathed a sigh of relief. Phew.