Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Getting in
Emergency Rail Map: "The map carries full details of the services and connections available to passengers for the duration of the industrial action", claimed a Network Rail spokesman, who wished to remain anonymous for operational reasons. "You can clearly see from the map that the network can adapt well to the disruption and passengers may not even realise there's a strike on at all."..... Enjoy
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Tube Strike starts at 6.30pm tonight
The Standard
"Millions of workers face travel chaos after talks aimed at averting a strike on London underground broke down after just 10 minutes........
London Underground urged people not to drive into central London during the strike and suggested that workers should walk to their office wherever possible."
Cool that's only about fifteen miles for me, nice stroll home tonight. For more helpful advice from London Underground check out their website.
Monday, June 28, 2004
Love is in the air
Kath and Kim - it's like an Aussie version of The Royle Family) or babe on the tube, in the hope that they just might read this and get in touch. Here are my favourites from today:
"I met you over a year a go, first thing on Sunday morning at Pimlico station - you, Claire, an Austrialian nurse on your way to work, and me off to watch the Cricket World Cup Final. You smiled at me and we started talking after you committed the evil crime of reading the back of my paper. I though you were fun to chat with and if on the tiny chance you are still in the country, single and remember me, it would be great to meet."
Blimey, he got her name, was chatting to her, why not ask her out.......D'OH
"I have only seen you once and I've not been able to stop thinking about you ever since. I saw you on Monday, May 17, at about 6pm on the Nothern Line platform at Bank station heading south. You stood next to me waiting for the train wearing a green skirt and a small top showing your flawless olive skin and were reading the Daily Mail. I have regretted not asking you out ever since."
And one that may possibly work as at least the woman reads Metro:
"You are a tall, gorgeous redhead who gets on at Victoria and off at Warren Street about 7.30 most mornings. Sometimes we make eye contact and I nearly pluck up the courage to speak. You are usually listening to a Walkman and you always have a Metro, so maybe this is my best chance to say I like you. Give me a smile and your phone number."
Tall blonde guy
So if someone sees these two tomorrow morning making eyes at each other over their Metros, pleeeeeeeese report back. I need a good wedding to go to.
Friday, June 25, 2004
Tube Strike Latest
The Evening Standard) Coupled with that Union leader Bob Crowe has just resigned from his role at Transport for London after having a ding dong with Mayor Ken Livingstone who said that tube workers should cross next week's picket lines. (This is piss poor timing, as Bob was due for a pay rise at the end of July with his re-appointment to the Board)
Although things between Ken and Bob are at an all time low, The Standard believes it ain't over till it's over: "Hopes that the strike could be called off were raised today after it was revealed there had been telephone contact between London Underground and RMT officials. Union leaders will look for an improved deal, allowing them to suspend the action for further talks........The final decision on the Tube strike could rest with the annual general conference of the RMT, which opens in Portsmouth on Monday."
On the BBC today programme Crowe said: "What the Mayor should be doing is getting his chief executives out of their golf clubs or wherever they are in the afternoon, or cocktail bars, and get them round the table like the chief executive of Network Rail did yesterday afternoon, and sort the differences out between them."
Vile Pictures
Ralf The Cartoonist for the following, which I can only hope to God is not a permanent tattoo:
Then in a totally un tube related tangent, but homage to the boys last night from one of the many Beckham emails floating around cyberspace this morning via those photoshopping experts at b3ta:
More footy photoshop fandango including the above in The Standard
More bathroom tube ads
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Pants Sure Ad?
guestbook a week or so ago pondering:
"I am perplexed by an ad in the tube (maybe because I am American). Does anyone know what the Sure ad that says "Argh!!! I've pulled" and features a pair of floral underpants means? I think Sure is a deodarant and I am not sure how it all comes together. Any insight would be greatly appreciated."
I managed to get a picture of the ad yesterday, but I emailed Mike back last week with my understanding of it. I believe it's when, as a chick, you think - brilliant I'm about to pull, but then you remember you're wearing a disgusting pair of large underpants (Renee Zellweger had a moment like that in the film Bridget Jones' Diary with Hugh Grant saying "What an enormous pair of knickers"). I think this would then bring you out in sweat and only Sure's deodarant would do. Really convoluted I know, and as I haven't heard a dicky bird back from Mike I don't think he's that impressed or convinced by my argument.
I spose I'll now get a load of unsavory characters coming to the blog through Google looking for ladies lingerie.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
The next station is Oval
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Another threat of industrial action on the way
Google News for the latest.
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Oldest Heat Reader?
Heat - full of the latest Big Brother/Posh and Becks/celebrity plastic surgery/celebrity sneeze stories
She looked fairly engrossed and I only wished I could have seen whether she was reading a discarded copy (they have a strange magnetic effect on most people) or whether she'd bought it herself.
By the time we got to Earls Court she was still gripped although her and a number of other people started flapping about a pigeon that flew on board for a lunch time snack. D'OH - was all I thought as I hadn't seen a pigeon in the carriage for some time now.
I was amazed at how determined they were to shoo it out and how equally determined it was to come back in. I spose they were worried that it would have got trapped on board and started freaking out in some Alfred Hitchcock stylie way, pecking at glasses and leaving droppings on copies of Heat - although not sure if we'd have noticed the difference. Perhaps there'd be a new column of celebrity birthmarks that look like pigeon shit.
Saturday, June 19, 2004
In belated honour of Bloomsday
The Cartoonist for sending me a picuture of a Ulysses inspired tube map that he spotted in Dublin while he was over for Bloomsday (James Joyce's Birthday?) celebrations last week.
Not quite sure why it was in tube map format, but if it's good enough for Doctor Who, I'm sure it's good enough for James Joyce.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Almost too real
what to do in this hot weather - get off at the next stop if you feel faint, always carry a bottle of water, give up your seat to someone if they look like they need it more than you, yada, yada
My friend who runs www.isthisyou.co.uk sent me the following from rocketeer32.com via b3ta:
Top Tube Toon
Peter Gander's winning entry for the Mind The Gag London Underground Toon Competition and failed miserably.
So I've appropriated it from the tube's website:
Ironically the winner Peter isn't a regular tube traveller and gets the overland train to Liverpool Street, but he vividly remembers some horribly cramped journeys to where he used to work in Chelsea.
"It was never a terrific journey, but in the summer it could be horrible and sometimes a bit mad! The normal train is so much more civilised!"
Tell us about it Peter.
Any machochist who wants to see my latest picture of the cartoon in poster form, it's below:
Monday, June 14, 2004
Wot a scorcher 2
hot waves of "Special" "Not in service" trains zooming past while listening to some busker playing Miles Davis' So What or some other type of Jazz that ought to be on Round Midnight.
More continental toons on my MP3 - Dr Rokit's Cafe de Flore from Angel Beach and then saw some continental looking legs in some real shorts just as I left
Wow, we could almost be in Lisbon on the tube (that's the closest I'll get to talking about Portugal today).
At least no one was cycling bikes down my part of the District Line or firing air pistols.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Underground, Overground
A bunch of designers were given free rein to think of what they would really like to see in London. (One of them was clearly on some drugs as they tried to make my old stomping ground "unglamorous Feltham" into "London's coolest area" - this would not just take some designers but every god that exists in the world and the universe and then it probably wouldn't work.)
I quite like the idea of an overground system though. Some Dutch architects came up with this who may well have been on some recreational drugs. Check out The Evening Standard for the full story.
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Possible industrial action on the District Line
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Phew wot a scorcher
screaming with the heat
And typically or topically, when I got home this evening commenting stalwart and regular visitor Bradley, sent me a fantastic link from Metcheck which shows how hot it is on various lines on the tube. Basically it was bloody hot on all lines today.
Bradley also sent a link to a transport forum where he came across the original link and apparently someone had tried to cool down the Tube today in their own special way:
"Some idiot tried to cool down the Jubilee today by wedging a newspaper in between the doors. Of course this just resulted in a 10 minute stop in the tunnel, whilst the driver had to find out what the problem was."
Inventive but rather stupid.
At least Sheriff Ken is too busy trying to get re-elected this year rather than trying to re-instate campaign and �100,000 reward for some genius who can work out how to air condition the Tube.
Update - Quality post from Rob at The Big Smoker on some vox pop stuff from The Standard with people waxing lyrically (stupidly) about how hot it was on public transport.
Speaking of Ken Livingstone
odious Tory Steve Norris got three and the Green Party Candidate - Darren Johnson - only got two of the London questions correct.
There were obviously a few transport questions:
How much does a weekly zone 1-4 Travelcard cost
I would have given the same answer as Ken:
Ken - I don't know I buy an annual season ticket
Norris - Between �25 and �30, I think but I get a zone 1-3 annual pass myself
Hughes - �15.40 (how can you so precisely give the wrong answer)
Johnson - I'm not sure - I always get an annual one. Maybe about �24.
The correct answer is �29.20
Then it all went horribly wrong for bus champion Ken.
How much does a bus journey into or from Zone 1 cost?
Ken - They're all 70p (hide your head in shame Mr Livingstone)
Norris - �1
Hughes - �1
Johnson - 70p
As much as I hate buses even I know it's a quid for adults.
I quite liked their answers on how they travel to work:
Ken - Tube (yes I have proof of this)
Norris - Bus and Tube. I get the bus to Brixton, then the Victoria Line to Green Park and the number 9 to Kensington High Street (then an essay as to how wonderful his journey is)
Hughes - It varies, sometimes I drive my taxi (errr, what - he has a taxi) or I take the 53 or 453 bus. I used to cycle but my bike was stolen. If I'm elected mayor I will walk to work.
Johnson - I take a train from Brockley to City Hall.
Sunday, June 06, 2004
Blogmeetette, Belgos & Booze
The Cartoonist, Plep, Konstantine and Mr Bali Hai - I sat opposite a couple of literary swiggers.
It was quite touching to see the happy couple reading and quietly swigging from a bottle of red wine on a Saturday night. Makes a change from sitting opposite people with cans of Diamond White or bottles of Archers, WKD or the latest alchopop.
Perhaps the man was just reading the book as a pose though, as Penguin have launched a FHM meets TLS campaign trying to get blokes to read saying that women prefer men who read books or "Good looking women prefer good booking men" - there's an intriguing "Readers' Wives" section with tales of people who met their partner through their love of contemporary fiction - or Penguins. Cheers to Ian whose blog I spotted this bizarre campaign on. You can also win a grand if a half dressed woman from Penguin "our stunning Good Booking Girl" spots you reading one of their recommended books of the month.
Friday, June 04, 2004
Just about sober enough to blog
Saatchi's for the Tube at Paddington earlier today.
I don't normally drink cider and ended up ordering it by accident tonight and then sticking to it, as it was oddly refreshing until I realised that the only food I had eaten today was a bag of crisps and three satsumas ......hmmm healthy!
Fortunately one of my drinking companions (the newly hot ex colleague of mine who had lost over three stone since I last saw him) had not eaten anything at all today, so I didn't feel quite as bad.
Also on the tube I managed to vicariously read the woman opposite me's copy of Hello!/Now!/OK!/Then!/Whatever! and learnt about celebrity cat fights. The only time I ever read these gossip magazines is over someone's shoulder on the Tube or in my hairdressers. The celebrity cat fights were ex Big Brother contestants Jade and Kate (yawn), EastEnders Kat Slater and Dirty Den, Jamie Cullum and Kerry McFadden (WHAAAAAAAAAAT? WHY? It's another world) Posh Beckham and someone else (who cares?) and most weirdly Natasha and Britney (as I know my pop stars, I knew this was Natasha "I'm Singuuuuuuuullllll" Bedingfield (Daniel Bedingfield's younger sister - it's a British thing - these pop siblings are not worth troubling yourself over) and La Spearster.
After the copy of OK! (as it turned out to be) was left behind, a man too old and too suited to know better grabbed it and proceeded to read more of the celebrity cat fights and fortunately he left it behind too, so I grabbed it and rescued it from its Tube travels and will be finding out this weekend why the female Bedingfield and Britney are at loggerheads.
Oh yeah - next Thursday's tube strike's been called off - quelle surprise!!!!! (How can you have a tube strike on election day? - nicely timed guys)
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Gig on the Tube
comments from a week or so ago Andrew Kendall brought to my attention a band called The Others who actually had a gig on the Hammersmith and City Line between Hammersmith and Liverpool Street on the 22nd May.
It looked like a huge laugh and Andrew has posted some great pictures of the event on his site where the picture below came from:
The last time I saw pictures like this were from a massive party on the tube - The Circle Line Party last year.
Anyway, I asked Andrew for some more information about The Others' gig and he put me on to the Let's Kill The Others Forum and I found out that it was a "normal" gig with crowd surfing, free condoms, booze, crowds, cameras and bootleg recordings which the pictures show (well they don't show the free condoms, but you'll get the general drift). Check out the video on the NME's website.
The best thing about one of the threads on the forum though was a particularly surreal idea about making it a regular occurance and how the Tube might have to change if it was:
"Me and my good friend Mister Toms very much enjoyed the gig on the tube. So today me and Mr Toms had a conversation about the tube and all the crazy things that could happen on it, and Mr Toms came up with this idea:
Themed Months on the tube.
So you could have a Star Wars month were all the tube workers dress up as storm troopers. And the repair men could dress up as rebels. Then say the metropolitan line is down.. instead of saying "The Metropolitan Line is down due to engineering works" it would be "The Engineering line is under assault from rebel forces", said over the tube speaker system in Darth Vader's voice.
And announcements could be made on the tube such as "We are now entering hyper speed". Only it would come on as the tube is inexplicably grinding to a halt (as it always does). And that would really piss people off.
Oh what fun.
And you'd have to change your money from pounds to some weird space currency to use the tubes.
With such genius ideas surely me and Mr Toms should be in control of the whole system. What do you think?"
Perhaps Mr Toms and Plastic Long Breath should take over the Tube. Sounds a lot more fun than the current system.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Back in London - Tube Ordeal?
tube strike to concide with the European, Mayoral and local council elections on the 10th June.
But not all doom and gloom, I saw a limbo dancing pigeon yesterday in the waiting room at Glamoursmith. I was sitting staring into space after coming back from King's Cross on the new wooden seats - thinking - ah, another day off work and suddenly a pigeon was inside - pecking on the floor. No one else had been in the room since me, so I wondered how the little blighter had managed to materialise from nowhere. After he'd finished snacking I saw him duck under the little gap beneath the waiting door.

I also received a pretty rude email in bold letters from a tube driver who has his own IRC chat room asking me to add a link to his site as I have "duff" ones on my main site apparently (the two at the top for Eurorail and Railpass - both seem to be working fine to me). How positively would you reply to an email that started:
Annie Do you respond to e mail these days? This is a repeat I'm sending.
Let's just hope that he's not sitting round the table for the negotiations about the forthcoming strike.
Finally, a nice email from Donal:
At Baker Street today I heard one of the regular announcements reminding pre-pay OysterCard Lovers to touch their card on the reader at "the beginning and end of your Tube or DLR journey". The person in the announcement I heard unfortunately ran their words together somewhat so it came out as "the beginning and end of your Tube ordeal or journey"... Don't know whether this recording is limited to Baker Street. I may be going mad or hearing things - would love some corroboration.
Donal - maybe you are going mad. But I don't think too many people would be unduly surprised to hear their journey described as an ordeal.
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