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Friday, February 27, 2004

This is the News

Horses infesting the London Underground

News! London Underground say they may have to close the underground system due to an infestation of horses. A report described the conditions in the equine plague as "like an abattoir in a power cut". Ted Maul reports.

Horses infest London Underground


Cut to reporter Ted Maul - "For years, the system of tunnels and shafts has supported a small population of wild horses without bothering the commuters. The only pest control necessary was performed by the teams of 'fluffers', who to this day still remove clots of hair from the tracks. Then in 1970 came the 'crackers', special staff who had to patrol the darkened tunnels every day and kill the horses with hammers. Now, say officials, the horses have become a menace."

"STATION ANNOUNCER: Due to a large pile of horses blocking the track at Marble Arch, all services have been cancelled."

For more read on - I love UK Gold and its repeats of old news.


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