If anyone caught my Twitter Tweet yesterday morning, about buying the Steve Coogan guest edited copy of Time Out London, it wouldn't have conveyed my joy. I'm a massive Alan Partridge fan and had seen posters on the London Underground about Steve Coogan's takeover of Time Out this week.
I grabbed a copy at Glamoursmith, sorry Hammersmith, Tube and spent the next half hour giggling away to myself.
Most of Coogan's characters are from the North, or are certainly outside the M25 in the case of Alan Partridge. They have a deep suspicion of London and Londoners and think we're all an arrogant bunch of twats. Partridge says from the editor's desk "In London the only thing you are greeted by are robots that look like humans ... but are robots". One place we're at our most robotic is the Tube and it's a shame that we didn't get Alan's views on the London Underground.
However, he has plenty of views on London buses and bemoans the loss of the Routemaster. Although he's not a great fan of public transport in general "it's not the way forward" and the main quote you can see above, about God not wanting us to travel on buses, sums it up.
"The number of pedestrians bendy buses have knocked over suggests they're too quiet. I wrote to the former mayor suggesting the middle section pay a note whenever it concertinas, just like an accordion".
Coogan's Mancunian character, Paul Calf, likes a drink or 10 and wasn't too happy about Boris's Booze Ban on London transport.
"Getting pissed and shouting at fellow passengers is a basic human right. If anyone tried banning booze in Manchester there'd be a f**king revolution".
Coogan's edition of Time Out is dotted with quotes like this and it's great having a such a London focussed mag taken over by characters who say "Patisserie Valerie? I don't know what all the fuss is about. It's just a posh Greggs." and "My guide to being a student in London? Act like a twat, you'll fit right in".
The final word and as a lead into the Tube Fashion Victims must go back to Alan Partridge. On Londoners' style he says: "I'm baffled by people's reluctance to embrace smart-casual clothing. The same shirt-trouser-and-blazer combination can look appropriate at a job interview, in the pub, or at the funeral of a close relative".
Update - Bus Strike
Speaking of buses - the 24 hour London bus strike started this morning at 3am and will affect 207 routes in the capital. Workers union Unite said the strikes were called after pay negotiations broke down. They're seeking a single unified London-wide salary of £30,000 pounds annually and a standard working week of 38 hours. So if you use First, Metroline and Metrobus routes to get into work looks like you'll have to use the Tube instead.