Vile Pictures

Some of the scariest jpegs I've seen today

Many thanks to Ralf The Cartoonist for the following, which I can only hope to God is not a permanent tattoo:



Then in a totally un tube related tangent, but homage to the boys last night from one of the many Beckham emails floating around cyberspace this morning via those photoshopping experts at b3ta:



More footy photoshop fandango including the above in The Standard

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Friday, June 25, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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More bathroom tube ads

Tube of toothpaste puns

Following the Sure deoderant ad below, Colgate have been running a serious ads across the tube which have now featured in lines running across the bottom of today's Metro, with some London Underground co-branding:

"Take this tube for 12 hours of fresh breath"

"Don't let the person sitting next to you know that you had a curry last night"

"1.4 million people use the Circle Line weekly - How many brushed their teeth? "

All 1.4 million of them hopefully!

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Friday, June 25, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Pants Sure Ad?

Bridget Jones eat your heart out

Mike Gilbert signed my guestbook a week or so ago pondering:

"I am perplexed by an ad in the tube (maybe because I am American). Does anyone know what the Sure ad that says "Argh!!! I've pulled" and features a pair of floral underpants means? I think Sure is a deodarant and I am not sure how it all comes together. Any insight would be greatly appreciated."



I managed to get a picture of the ad yesterday, but I emailed Mike back last week with my understanding of it. I believe it's when, as a chick, you think - brilliant I'm about to pull, but then you remember you're wearing a disgusting pair of large underpants (Renee Zellweger had a moment like that in the film Bridget Jones' Diary with Hugh Grant saying "What an enormous pair of knickers"). I think this would then bring you out in sweat and only Sure's deodarant would do. Really convoluted I know, and as I haven't heard a dicky bird back from Mike I don't think he's that impressed or convinced by my argument.

I spose I'll now get a load of unsavory characters coming to the blog through Google looking for ladies lingerie.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, June 24, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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The next station is Oval

I thought it looked more oblong actually

I was at a client meeting this morning in Kennington so had to get off at Oval. Oval's one of those stations were the first or second time you hear the recorded voice in the train saying "The next station is oval", you have a tiny chuckle to yourself. This must wear extraordinarily thin when you hear it day after day. Or see people going to watch the cricket give each other knowing looks or say "The station doesn't look oval to me, although it is a bit curved - pnarr, pnarr".

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, June 23, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/06/next-station-is-oval.html

Another threat of industrial action on the way

Get ready for a strike

There's plans for an all out 24 hour walkout over pay and pensions from both rail and Tube workers next Wednesday from 6.30pm. Currently they're in talks so it may all be called off.

I'll keep you posted or check out Google News for the latest.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, June 22, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Oldest Heat Reader?

I'll have some support stockings, some Fisherman's Friends and a copy of Heat please

Just came back from staying over at a friend's last night so jumped on at Victoria to a fairly deserted carriage, apart from an elderly lady reading a copy of Heat - full of the latest Big Brother/Posh and Becks/celebrity plastic surgery/celebrity sneeze stories



She looked fairly engrossed and I only wished I could have seen whether she was reading a discarded copy (they have a strange magnetic effect on most people) or whether she'd bought it herself.

By the time we got to Earls Court she was still gripped although her and a number of other people started flapping about a pigeon that flew on board for a lunch time snack. D'OH - was all I thought as I hadn't seen a pigeon in the carriage for some time now.

I was amazed at how determined they were to shoo it out and how equally determined it was to come back in. I spose they were worried that it would have got trapped on board and started freaking out in some Alfred Hitchcock stylie way, pecking at glasses and leaving droppings on copies of Heat - although not sure if we'd have noticed the difference. Perhaps there'd be a new column of celebrity birthmarks that look like pigeon shit.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Sunday, June 20, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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In belated honour of Bloomsday

Ulysses Tube Map

Many thanks to Ralf The Cartoonist for sending me a picuture of a Ulysses inspired tube map that he spotted in Dublin while he was over for Bloomsday (James Joyce's Birthday?) celebrations last week.



Not quite sure why it was in tube map format, but if it's good enough for Doctor Who, I'm sure it's good enough for James Joyce.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Saturday, June 19, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Almost too real

In this hot weather

You've probably seen the real posters on the tube about what to do in this hot weather - get off at the next stop if you feel faint, always carry a bottle of water, give up your seat to someone if they look like they need it more than you, yada, yada

My friend who runs www.isthisyou.co.uk sent me the following from rocketeer32.com via b3ta:

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, June 16, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Top Tube Toon

Busy Tube

I've tried my hardest to get a decent picture of Peter Gander's winning entry for the Mind The Gag London Underground Toon Competition and failed miserably.

So I've appropriated it from the tube's website:



Ironically the winner Peter isn't a regular tube traveller and gets the overland train to Liverpool Street, but he vividly remembers some horribly cramped journeys to where he used to work in Chelsea.

"It was never a terrific journey, but in the summer it could be horrible and sometimes a bit mad! The normal train is so much more civilised!"

Tell us about it Peter.

Any machochist who wants to see my latest picture of the cartoon in poster form, it's below:

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, June 16, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Wot a scorcher 2

Shorts

Very continental journey home this evening. On the way back from watching my colleague's shorts (not as weird or pervy as it sounds - shorts as in short plays and films at the Old Red Lion), delved onto the Piccadilly line and cooled myself down with hot waves of "Special" "Not in service" trains zooming past while listening to some busker playing Miles Davis' So What or some other type of Jazz that ought to be on Round Midnight.

More continental toons on my MP3 - Dr Rokit's Cafe de Flore from Angel Beach and then saw some continental looking legs in some real shorts just as I left



Wow, we could almost be in Lisbon on the tube (that's the closest I'll get to talking about Portugal today).

At least no one was cycling bikes down my part of the District Line or firing air pistols.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Monday, June 14, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Underground, Overground

A Tube system made out of The London Eye?

"The optimistic vision for the above-ground network linking London's existing Tube stations is just one of a collection of revolutionary designs going on show today (well yesterday - I'm a bit late with the news) at Selfridges."



A bunch of designers were given free rein to think of what they would really like to see in London. (One of them was clearly on some drugs as they tried to make my old stomping ground "unglamorous Feltham" into "London's coolest area" - this would not just take some designers but every god that exists in the world and the universe and then it probably wouldn't work.)

I quite like the idea of an overground system though. Some Dutch architects came up with this who may well have been on some recreational drugs. Check out The Evening Standard for the full story.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, June 10, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/06/underground-overground.html

Possible industrial action on the District Line

You heard it here first......

An inside source tells me that there might be some industrial action on the District Line on the 10th June because of action by Metronet SSL at Upminster depot. It may well not happen though as the same source tells me that discussions were taking place to try to avert it. So have a listen on the radio before you leave work.

Wow, I should be a politician for making such a vague post - "might", "may" "possible" - expect to hear plenty of polictical vaguries with the elections tomorrow anyway.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, June 09, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Phew wot a scorcher

Hot, hot, hot

I wondereded if the the fashion police would have a day off on the Tube today, but amazingly most people were wearing a decent amount of clothes although there were a number of people wearing shorts, well, who really would have been better off not wearing shorts



The Standard was screaming with the heat



And typically or topically, when I got home this evening commenting stalwart and regular visitor Bradley, sent me a fantastic link from Metcheck which shows how hot it is on various lines on the tube. Basically it was bloody hot on all lines today.

Bradley also sent a link to a transport forum where he came across the original link and apparently someone had tried to cool down the Tube today in their own special way:

"Some idiot tried to cool down the Jubilee today by wedging a newspaper in between the doors. Of course this just resulted in a 10 minute stop in the tunnel, whilst the driver had to find out what the problem was."

Inventive but rather stupid.

At least Sheriff Ken is too busy trying to get re-elected this year rather than trying to re-instate campaign and �100,000 reward for some genius who can work out how to air condition the Tube.

Update - Quality post from Rob at The Big Smoker on some vox pop stuff from The Standard with people waxing lyrically (stupidly) about how hot it was on public transport.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, June 08, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Speaking of Ken Livingstone

Mayoral Challenge

It's only two days till election day and The Standard decided to ask the front runners for Mayor some general questions about London and they all scored pretty badly - Ken and Simon Hughes (Lib Dem candidate) did the best with four out of nine London questions right - the odious Tory Steve Norris got three and the Green Party Candidate - Darren Johnson - only got two of the London questions correct.

There were obviously a few transport questions:

How much does a weekly zone 1-4 Travelcard cost

I would have given the same answer as Ken:

Ken - I don't know I buy an annual season ticket
Norris - Between �25 and �30, I think but I get a zone 1-3 annual pass myself
Hughes - �15.40 (how can you so precisely give the wrong answer)
Johnson - I'm not sure - I always get an annual one. Maybe about �24.

The correct answer is �29.20

Then it all went horribly wrong for bus champion Ken.

How much does a bus journey into or from Zone 1 cost?

Ken - They're all 70p (hide your head in shame Mr Livingstone)
Norris - �1
Hughes - �1
Johnson - 70p

As much as I hate buses even I know it's a quid for adults.

I quite liked their answers on how they travel to work:

Ken - Tube (yes I have proof of this)
Norris - Bus and Tube. I get the bus to Brixton, then the Victoria Line to Green Park and the number 9 to Kensington High Street (then an essay as to how wonderful his journey is)
Hughes - It varies, sometimes I drive my taxi (errr, what - he has a taxi) or I take the 53 or 453 bus. I used to cycle but my bike was stolen. If I'm elected mayor I will walk to work.
Johnson - I take a train from Brockley to City Hall.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, June 08, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Blogmeetette, Belgos & Booze

Boozing bookheads

On my way home last night from a very enjoyable mini-blog meet (a blogmeetette) at Belgos with The Cartoonist, Plep, Konstantine and Mr Bali Hai - I sat opposite a couple of literary swiggers.



It was quite touching to see the happy couple reading and quietly swigging from a bottle of red wine on a Saturday night. Makes a change from sitting opposite people with cans of Diamond White or bottles of Archers, WKD or the latest alchopop.

Perhaps the man was just reading the book as a pose though, as Penguin have launched a FHM meets TLS campaign trying to get blokes to read saying that women prefer men who read books or "Good looking women prefer good booking men" - there's an intriguing "Readers' Wives" section with tales of people who met their partner through their love of contemporary fiction - or Penguins. Cheers to Ian whose blog I spotted this bizarre campaign on. You can also win a grand if a half dressed woman from Penguin "our stunning Good Booking Girl" spots you reading one of their recommended books of the month.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Sunday, June 06, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Just about sober enough to blog

Don't drink cider again

Apologies to anyone who was travelling in the carriage with me at TCR (Tottenham Court Road) where I was was wolfing down some fried chicken which must have stunk out the whole carriage.

Funnily enough I managed to grab a picture of the Bernard Manning lookalike butcher in a carriage full of noxious smelling meats advertising the "Don't eat smelly food" latest offering from Saatchi's for the Tube at Paddington earlier today.



I don't normally drink cider and ended up ordering it by accident tonight and then sticking to it, as it was oddly refreshing until I realised that the only food I had eaten today was a bag of crisps and three satsumas ......hmmm healthy!

Fortunately one of my drinking companions (the newly hot ex colleague of mine who had lost over three stone since I last saw him) had not eaten anything at all today, so I didn't feel quite as bad.

Also on the tube I managed to vicariously read the woman opposite me's copy of Hello!/Now!/OK!/Then!/Whatever! and learnt about celebrity cat fights. The only time I ever read these gossip magazines is over someone's shoulder on the Tube or in my hairdressers. The celebrity cat fights were ex Big Brother contestants Jade and Kate (yawn), EastEnders Kat Slater and Dirty Den, Jamie Cullum and Kerry McFadden (WHAAAAAAAAAAT? WHY? It's another world) Posh Beckham and someone else (who cares?) and most weirdly Natasha and Britney (as I know my pop stars, I knew this was Natasha "I'm Singuuuuuuuullllll" Bedingfield (Daniel Bedingfield's younger sister - it's a British thing - these pop siblings are not worth troubling yourself over) and La Spearster.

After the copy of OK! (as it turned out to be) was left behind, a man too old and too suited to know better grabbed it and proceeded to read more of the celebrity cat fights and fortunately he left it behind too, so I grabbed it and rescued it from its Tube travels and will be finding out this weekend why the female Bedingfield and Britney are at loggerheads.

Oh yeah - next Thursday's tube strike's been called off - quelle surprise!!!!! (How can you have a tube strike on election day? - nicely timed guys)

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Friday, June 04, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Gig on the Tube

Do you think these will take off?

In my comments from a week or so ago Andrew Kendall brought to my attention a band called The Others who actually had a gig on the Hammersmith and City Line between Hammersmith and Liverpool Street on the 22nd May.

It looked like a huge laugh and Andrew has posted some great pictures of the event on his site where the picture below came from:



The last time I saw pictures like this were from a massive party on the tube - The Circle Line Party last year.

Anyway, I asked Andrew for some more information about The Others' gig and he put me on to the Let's Kill The Others Forum and I found out that it was a "normal" gig with crowd surfing, free condoms, booze, crowds, cameras and bootleg recordings which the pictures show (well they don't show the free condoms, but you'll get the general drift). Check out the video on the NME's website.

The best thing about one of the threads on the forum though was a particularly surreal idea about making it a regular occurance and how the Tube might have to change if it was:

"Me and my good friend Mister Toms very much enjoyed the gig on the tube. So today me and Mr Toms had a conversation about the tube and all the crazy things that could happen on it, and Mr Toms came up with this idea:

Themed Months on the tube.

So you could have a Star Wars month were all the tube workers dress up as storm troopers. And the repair men could dress up as rebels. Then say the metropolitan line is down.. instead of saying "The Metropolitan Line is down due to engineering works" it would be "The Engineering line is under assault from rebel forces", said over the tube speaker system in Darth Vader's voice.

And announcements could be made on the tube such as "We are now entering hyper speed". Only it would come on as the tube is inexplicably grinding to a halt (as it always does). And that would really piss people off.

Oh what fun.

And you'd have to change your money from pounds to some weird space currency to use the tubes.

With such genius ideas surely me and Mr Toms should be in control of the whole system. What do you think?"

Perhaps Mr Toms and Plastic Long Breath should take over the Tube. Sounds a lot more fun than the current system.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, June 03, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/06/gig-on-tube.html

Back in London - Tube Ordeal?

What a welcome

Ahhh, after just a few days off in sunny (and a bit rainy) Scarborough, it was back to the delights of the tube yesterday and today we face the prospect of a tube strike to concide with the European, Mayoral and local council elections on the 10th June.

But not all doom and gloom, I saw a limbo dancing pigeon yesterday in the waiting room at Glamoursmith. I was sitting staring into space after coming back from King's Cross on the new wooden seats - thinking - ah, another day off work and suddenly a pigeon was inside - pecking on the floor. No one else had been in the room since me, so I wondered how the little blighter had managed to materialise from nowhere. After he'd finished snacking I saw him duck under the little gap beneath the waiting door.



I also received a pretty rude email in bold letters from a tube driver who has his own IRC chat room asking me to add a link to his site as I have "duff" ones on my main site apparently (the two at the top for Eurorail and Railpass - both seem to be working fine to me). How positively would you reply to an email that started:

Annie
Do you respond to e mail these days? This is a repeat I'm sending.

Let's just hope that he's not sitting round the table for the negotiations about the forthcoming strike.

Finally, a nice email from Donal:

At Baker Street today I heard one of the regular announcements reminding pre-pay OysterCard Lovers to touch their card on the reader at "the beginning and end of your Tube or DLR journey". The person in the announcement I heard unfortunately ran their words together somewhat so it came out as "the beginning and end of your Tube ordeal or journey"...

Don't know whether this recording is limited to Baker Street. I may be going mad or hearing things - would love some corroboration.

Donal - maybe you are going mad. But I don't think too many people would be unduly surprised to hear their journey described as an ordeal.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, June 02, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Distraction and Chef's Toilet Line

Inspired by......?

Goodness knows what - possibly the picture I took in April of the ridiculous dot matrix display sign, Sellassie Lawson has created some great realistic "the next tube" indicators. So we have on the Bakerloo Line



Followed by the line that is the bane of my life



The amount of times I have seen Ealing Bdwy rather than Richmond when I got to Glamoursmith or Turnham Blue is beyond a joke.

Many thanks for sending those through Sellassie, you're a star. More may be on the way.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, May 26, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Wot no strikes?

To strike or not to strike

I've been fairly de-mob happy for the last few days as I'm going 'ooop north to a North Sea seaside down this Bank Holiday (some people holiday in La Scala, I holiday in Scarborough), so I totally missed reading about "strikes or lack or them or pay rises to avert strikes or the railway going out on strike to co-incide with tube strikes which are pre-empted by pay rises so at least some public transport may be running sometime over the next few weeks" in today's Metro.

Fortunately the guy opposite me had a copy coming home this evening so I got a vague gist of what was going on to be able to give you the insightful piece of reporting above.



Anyway, if you really want to know what's going on check out the FT.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, May 26, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/wot-no-strikes.html

Inspector Sands

Everyone in London must know who he is

Yesterday morning station staff were testing out fire alarms at Richmond station, so there were lots of loud announcements telling us to ignore anything that sounded like an alarm.

I didn't hear anything which sounded like a siren or bell or anything just a lot of interrupted messages for "Inspector Sands to report to blah blah, mumble".

Inspector Sands is used as a code for either a suspect fire or an alarm which has gone off somewhere which may or may not be a fire. So instead of someone saying - "We think there may be a fire" which might lead to platforms of passengers and staff in Dad's Army style legging it about saying "Don't panic Mr Mainwaring", it means that those in the know - silently think "Don't panic, don't panic" and look for the quickest exit.

Check out the infamous Mr Sands with Nik Fox's recording.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, May 25, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/inspector-sands.html

Lipstick, powder and spoon

Strangest make up accessory

I know some people get freaked out by seeing women putting on their make up on the Tube, I was freaked out myself today but only because the woman I saw was using a teaspoon.

First of all I thought she'd just dropped the spoon into her make up bag by mistake or was possibly going to take some cough mixture or hayfever medication or something. But no, she used the spoon as a bizarre eyelash curler. Normal eyelash curlers I find pretty freaky too and always imagine people pulling their eyelashes out with them, but curling your eyelashes over a teaspoon is definitely one of the wierdest things I've seen on the Underground and I've seen some pretty weird things. Way too stunned to get a picture - but trust me it was a literal eye opener.

Amazingly assorted range of footwear on the tube this morning too as the weather is being it's usual chaotic self and after two days of heat I've seen loads of exposed feet in Birkenstock stylie sandals (still as popular as last year) next to women wearing full length boots.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Friday, May 21, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Yahoo's Top 100 Sites for Men

My site is missus friendly

My colleague at work has just told me that my main site www.goingunderground.net (cunnily called Tube Tales here) has just made it into Yahoo's Top 100 Sites for Men (that won't offend the missus).

Cool - it has a boy's rating of 4/5 (A five pint evening with a whisky chaser apparently - just below surfing the net with Vinnie Jones). So now it's officially hip with other bloke's media including FHM and Boyz, but will I ever make it into Cosmopolitan, Vogue or People's Friend?

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, May 20, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Jubilee Line Drivers

It's a laugh a minute on the Jubbly line

What with mad Richie with his Mother's Day and Ironing Board announcements, I've now had another driver sign my guestbook with the following:

"What is wrong with passengers today.

It was Halloween night on the jubilee. As I went into the tunnel at Finchley Road I switched off all the interior lights. No one saw the funny side, but a few complained.

Where's the Great British sense of humour gone?."

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, May 20, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/jubilee-line-drivers.html

Commuting......the life sentence

Debate about the daily grind

Not quite sure how I got this email (although it's a lot more relevant than the ones I get about member enlargement, staying hard, overwhelming spam and hitchikers getting banged), but I was given a final reminder that there's a debate tonight on the following:

"The one aspect of the daily grind that is guaranteed to provoke an opinion is the commute to work. Congested roads, overcrowded trains, packed buses and sweaty tubes - it's been said that if travel broadens the mind, commuting shrinks it back. At 46 minutes, on average, Britain has the longest commute times in Europe. So why do so many of us continue to do it?

These days drivers are often condemned as selfish cloggers of the urban anxieties and public transport is portrayed as a more responsible alternative. But is commuting by public transport better by commuting by car or is commuting itself a problem? This debate investigates whether commuting is a symbol of our anxious times, conveying images of time-poverty, pollution, selfishness and stress, and asks how we can envisage things
getting better."

Sounds interesting and I agree about the overcrowding in a major way. I was going to give up commuting at one point and move out of town. At another point in my life I was falling asleep regularly on the Piccadilly Line (whenever I got a seat) and literally dragging myself around the tube like a zombie and again I thought I'd had enough.

My journey into work now takes anything up to an hour and half which is ridiculous. Blogging helps in a way in that I try now to keep awake in the morning and watch people around me and look for anything to make the commute less of grind. But it is a grind, there's no getting away from it. We do shuffle along into the tube, or buses, or trains like the living dead. It's not a great way to start your day. I can be an foul mood for a fair while after a shitty journey in and that can't be good for me and certainly not for the first few people I mutter or grunt at in the office.

Tonight I'm going out see Vernon Kay do a studio recording of a new music and comedy quiz show, so won't be going to the debate, but if anyone has eight or six quid to spare and fancies going along to The Museum of London check out the website.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, May 20, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/commutingthe-life-sentence.html

"Rail public transport is often obsolete"

Well there's a surprise

Well whoopeedoo London are in the final five shortlist of cities for the Olympics in 2012 but according to the International Olympic Committee we're going to have to pull our socks up when it comes to getting spectators around the capital:

According to The Standard, the Committee need some convincing and said "Rail public transport is often obsolete and considerable investments must be made."

Meanwhile back with other bids for power, the mayoral shennanigans see Steve Norris promising guards on The Tube to make it safer for us ladies to travel around at night.

Again The Standard reports that "His "safe carriage" proposal comes as research shows 60 per cent of women feel unsafe on the Tube at night, compared to 32 per cent of men."

Under Norris' plan security guards would travel in the middle carriage of all Tube trains after 10pm (I wonder why the middle carriage was chosen?). The carriage would be clearly marked "safe" and could be used by anyone, not just women. They'd start off on routes where the highest number of offences were recorded but then but would eventually be rolled out across the whole Tube network.

I can just about remember those Guardian Angel volunteer vigilante types who used to patrol the Tube years and years ago, who always seemed pretty weird to me. They wore berets and looked like slightly threatening, more filled out, versions of Frank Spencer.

Update D'OH - trust The Big Smoker to post this before me today - check out the picture on their site and you'll see what I mean about Frank Spencer.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, May 18, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/rail-public-transport-is-often.html

Stand on the right

So it's not just a London thing

Many thanks to Jane Perrone who writes for The Guardian's blog and also has her own excellent gardening blog for emailing me about the www.standtotheright.com website.

The guy who runs this site had got in touch with me some time ago but it was one of those emails or guestbook entries which floated into my Bermuda triangle file and never re-surfaced.

Basically, on the Washington Metro ordinary commuters are just as hacked off as us Londoners when it comes to tourists or out-of-towners or people with a death wish who insist on standing on the left on escalators.

Today The Washington Post (you may need to register to read the article) picked up on the site with its Cafepress T shirts and be-moaned the fact that tourists are the worst offenders of this cardinal sin:

"The train is right there and you see the doors closing and it's like, 'Get out of my way!'" said Shain, a behavioural and social researcher who missed that train by seconds.

Then, a moment of empathy. "A lot of the people who visit here come here from Middle America where there is no subway, so they're not used to it," said Shain, who grew up in Kentucky. "You have to just expect that if you live in this city. You have to deal with the tourists."



It was annoying in the forties with the sign above, it's annoying now. But at least we have loads of signs on the Tube whereas some big wig in Washington decided to get them removed:

"Years ago, Metro bolted small metal "Stand to Right" plaques to some escalators but then removed them, concerned that the message was an implicit endorsement of walking, something the transit system officially condemns. "We advocate that people do not walk, for safety reasons," said Goodine (an assistant general manager for system safety and risk protection - snappy job title), adding that escalators are the place where most injuries occur inside Metro stations. Escalator injuries are declining but are still a major concern, he said.

"Unfortunately, we have this practice, and it's universal," Goodine said. "What are we going to do? Post a pedestrian traffic cop at every escalator? We have to come up with a way to address this, but right now our policy is, to ensure maximum safety, stand, don't run or walk, on the escalators."

I don't know how many injuries there have been with people "walking" up or down escalators on the tube, so it seems weird condoning walking - specially at the moment there's some ads on the Tube by the British Heart Foundation, actually encouraging people to walk up or down escaltors cos it's healthier. Ahh, those people across the pond - what are we going to do with them?

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Monday, May 17, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/stand-on-right.html

One man and his dog

But was he a busker?

On Thursday I went to Paddington on the Circle Line to go off to a meeting in Reading and a man got on with a sandy coloured dog, rucksack and flute. Fairly pleasant flautist (no idea if that's how you spell it) and his dog seemed quite relaxed by the music too and after sniffing around on the floor for a bit just laid down as you can see below



The weirdest thing though was that the man was just playing for a number of stops and then he got off at Paddington with me and made absolutely no attempt to get money off anybody. He didn't have a cup or a bag for collecting money. The dog wasn't begging or howling, or going round with a cup either.

Maybe he (the man that is) was just playing for the sheer hell of it, or maybe he had momentarily forgotten he was a busker.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Saturday, May 15, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/one-man-and-his-dog.html

London Blog Meet

Hi I'm Annie from the London Underground Blog

Was what I said quite a few times last night at my second bloggers party. It was a great shame it was on a school night as I'd have loved to have stayed longer. I arrived at 8pm and when I next looked at my watch it was twenty to eleven, so I thought shit I'd better make a move.

I'm pretty tired and about to go to bed now but it was really, really good to talk to a lot more people that I didn't manage to speak to from the last party at Xmas (there are comments in that post even if it looks like there aren't) - Dave (or Cornelius as he insisted on calling himself) from Acerbia (he also insisted on showing half the room his new back tattoo which is from the design on the front page of his site) - Pix (Anne) from Pixeldiva and Anna (fellow Bloggie nominee - we wuz robbed)) from Little Red Boat who celebrated her birthday on the night and was given a load of signed escort girl calling cards from us all (Belle De Jour would have been proud) and treated to a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday".

Nice to meet Darren again from the brill timemachinego - who I spoke to a lot at the last party but didn't manage too much at this one.

Also great to get a very warm welcome from the fantabulous campaigning Tim of Bloggerheads and pleased to meet in the flesh for the first time bloggers whose sites I regularly visit - Dave from funkypancake (and his friend Grahame), Matt Robinson (with bearded friend Bruce), Natalie - Blaugustine, Tom from Random Reality (my friend Matt will be delighted) and Mark from Londonmark.

It was fun and quite flattering to meet regular readers like Simon from minor 9th, Josephine and Sashinka, who made a point of finding me to say how much they like this blog.

And kind of embarrassing to meet Paul whose magazine London News Review I had publically slagged off some time ago - but I must say that I've remained loyal to the email newsletter London by London which Paul is now in control of since his split from the magazine.

Well done to James Cox for organising it. Getting way over 50 bloggers together was no mean feat especially in the middle of the week.

Apologies if I spoke to you and didn't give you a name check. Off to bed now.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, May 13, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/london-blog-meet.html

Another Central Line Derailment

Derailment or Defective Train

I'm sure if you had to travel on the Central Line today, you would have heard about a derailment of a train at about 12.30 at White City. Fortunately no one was hurt, but doubtless and rightly so there will be a lot more enquiries and the question of safety on the tube rears its head once more, as this is only about 18 months after the last derailment on the Central Line, where lots of people were hurt and the line was out of action for months and months.



The Evening Standard reported that this section of track was only worked on the previous evening: "As investigators focused on a set of points at the derailment site, a Metronet spokesman said: "We don't know if our recent work and the derailment are connected and we are looking into the work we've been doing."

Depending on which line you were on when travelling home this evening you would have heard the accident described as a "derailment" or a "defective train". I caught several permutations coming back home on the Piccadilly Line and District Line, plus lots of signs at Holborn too.



For more on this check out the BBC's site.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, May 11, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/another-central-line-derailment.html

Do your homework guys

Mad tube driver recording now on the Tube's website

Someone (who shall remain nameless) has just sent a quiet email to me and my friend Nik Fox who did the recording of the mad tube driver (Richie) which has been on my main site since last July, to say that "our" recording now appears on the Tube's website as part of their training - well it's how not to do an announcement in all honesty:

"For very good operational reasons, public announcements on the Underground are usually made within strict guidelines and protocols. This gem of non-standard communication comes from a member of the team in more expansive mood." say the training notes.

The emailer suggests that me and Nik should "av a word" with The Tube or rather "make polite investigations or clarifications as to who owns the rights". Interesting, but not something that I, personally, could be arsed to do. Nik may be able to get some acknowledgement though - who knows?

What I find most hysterical about this is that it's on the official site at all, and also that a little more investigation shows that some of my "tube facts" have also been "appropriated" for a quiz for their graduates. Since I made up the first "fact" they use and since fact 7 on their quiz is a well known urban legend, I think the producer of their site should have done a bit more homework rather than relying on me (of all people) as a source of all tube knowledge. Perhaps I should offer my services as a tube lecturer.

Now I wonder what else I can make them believe?

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Sunday, May 09, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/do-your-homework-guys.html

Possible New World Record

For travelling round all tube stations in the shortest possible time

One of the many people who sends me odd snippetts for my blog is Geoff Marshall who has set himself a challenge of trying to beat the record for travelling round all 275 tube stations. He's been on TV doing this and subsequently been lampooned by Victor Lewis Smith in the Evening Standard - but despite all this he takes it all in good humour and even though Lewis Smith assumed otherwise - he has got a girlfriend.

Geoff sent me a piccy about a tube barrier last week and I hadn't got round to posting it, but I looked at his site a couple of days ago and noticed that him and his mates, believe that on Wednesday (7th May) they have now finally beaten the record.

It still needs to be confirmed by the Guinness Book of Records (how they confirm this is anyone's guess), but it's looking likely that 18 hours, 35 minutes and 43 seconds beats the 19 hours record.

My favourite picture of all the ones on Geoff and friends' travelling-round-all-stations-in-under-19-hours attempts is the one with Geoff proudly holding a bottle of Ribena which he used for a loo stop.



Geoff emailed me when I told him this and said: "The bottle of "Urinena", as I've christened it. Not everybody thought it was funny! Some people at work where genuinely appalled, as was my girlfriend!!"

I'd never even thought about loo breaks if you were going to be on the tube all day, but thinking about it, it's a very sorry state of affairs with very few stations having toilets on them. No wonder Santa had to have a slash in the corner of platforms in the Christmas campaign last year.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Saturday, May 08, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/possible-new-world-record.html

I want these!

Possibly the coolest shoes in the world (with apologies to Pix's Shoe Project of course)

Are they baseball boots? High heeled trainers? Or simply just the coolest footwear I have so far seen on the tube?



It was really hard to get a picture of these in their full glory. As you can see the lady in question was sitting directly opposite me. She wasn't reading anything. When we both got on at Glamoursmith I was trying desparately to take a picture of her stepping across "the gap" to get into the train. My digital camera chose that moment to go in multi exposure mode - except all the exposures were shite.

When sitting opposite someone with at least three inch heels it's hard to see their heels unless they obligingly put their feet side on, or unless you lean slightly out of your seat, slightly across the guy sitting next to you and look slightly like a fool. Well the second option worked for me - particularly when cool, purple-booted woman decided she'd avoid the fidgety woman sitting opposite her and pick up a discarded Standard instead.

Speaking of Pix's Shoe Project, check our her very recent picture of some London Underground issue Doc Martens complete with Tube logo (roundel, for purists).....enjoy.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, May 06, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/i-want-these.html

Violence on the Tube

Depending on whereabouts you live in London and when you travel, you'll have a different opinion to violence on the London Underground. If you're listening to any radio station on London this morning you'll be thinking "Jeesus Christ, what's going on now". The latest (hasn't got round on the internet news yet) but Piccadilly Circus station is closed as there was a stabbing last night from a fight that started in a carriage and then spilled out onto the platform.

Also a few days ago a man was attacked at Wembley Park station when some man accused him of standing on his son's foot. Unfortunately that man died last night, so the invesitgation is now being treated as a murder inquiry. For more on this terrible incident see the BBC news.

I'm really lucky in that I live in a reasonable part of London (well you can't even call Richmond London as it's Surrey, but still on the tube), also I tend not to travel around on it too late. But even so there's been one incident (October 2003) where I was pretty frightened in a carriage on a tube not even that late at night.

The problem with fights on the tube is that you are in such an enclosed space that other people can get caught up in stuff by accident. Tempers do flare and it's amazing there isn't more tube rage. The other problem is that with this retitcence and keeping yourself to yourself on the Tube people ignore violence. I'm not saying if this is right or wrong - I'm consider myself a scaredy cat and normally tend to move away if I have a sense of trouble erupting (not sure why I didn't in the October incident).

Anyway, must shoot off to work myself now, and for what it's worth, I would like to offer my condolences to the family of the man who was murdered.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, May 06, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/violence-on-tube.html

Lost on me

London Comedy Festival Ad

Still experimenting with my journey and got a bus (urggh) to Holborn today coming home and then the Dilly line from there. I'd seen these ads from a distance before, and with a couple of minutes to spare, snapped the one below



Is it just me - or is this not very funny? It all a bit schoolboy humour really - landmarks of London looking like food, so we get Piccalilly Circus, The Millenium Wagon Wheel for The London Eye, and some bizarre piles of sarnies - I can sort of see how Marmite, Coleslaw and Chocolate Spread would be Poplar (it wouldn't be popular - that's the joke) but Peanut Butter, Jam and Crabpaste is totally lost on me to represent North Kensington.

Oh well, I'm sure there's a crowd of artists and cartoonists (including Martin Rowson - apparently London's Cartoonist Laureate) somewhere rolling around on the floor.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, May 04, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/lost-on-me.html

Just a tad worrying

I don't think it matters whether it was an Iraqi or not but how on earth did someone manage to get into London Underground tunnels at 3am two weeks ago (but it only hit the papers today)



London District secretary of the RMT union said "We are concerned that any unauthorised person should have access to the tracks - particularly at that hour. There would have been time to have hidden anything

We have demanded security checks for those who work on the system but this has not been done. There are subcontractors who wander around without identification"

An LU spokesman said "The safety and security of London Underground is our top priority. Immediately an individual was found in the tunnel he was escorted from the track and questioned by the British Transport Police. The track was searched and nothing was found".

Check out The Standard for more on this

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, May 04, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/just-tad-worrying.html

Yahoo Pick of the Day

Cheers Yahoo

Blimey my blog's made it to a Yahoo Pick of the Day for the 1st May, add that to the time when my main site was a Yahoo Pick of the Week (years ago - October 2000) all I can say is Yahoooooooooo

Here's what they said if you don't want to click on the link:

British people love to talk about the weather, it's a fact, and thankfully the crazy weather recently has given us plenty to talk about. In London, however, there is one thing which people love to talk about more than the weather and that is the Tube. Luckily, successive governments have realised the importance of Tube conversations to the general population of London and have striven to make sure that it never works properly. Today's Pick, the London Underground Tube Diary, is a blog about travelling on the Tube daily. The writing is pretty good and the site informative and amusing. So, if you have to cram into the world's grumpiest sardine cans every morning you may well appreciate Tube Diaries' take on commuting.

Not much blogging for the next few days though as it's a Bank Holiday on Monday in the UK - Yahoooooooo (again) and as the pick said - we've had some crazy weather just to coincide with it.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Sunday, May 02, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/05/yahoo-pick-of-day.html

Ken on the Tube

He DOES use the Tube

This isn't going to be a post about Ken Livingstone talking about the Tube - although doubtless he will be this evening in the State of London Debate, but it's me spotting Ken himself on the Tube.

We've recently moved offices and I now have the most God awful journey to get from Richmond to Barbican or Old Street. It's a mare. Today I changed at Gloucester Road to get the Circle line going clockwise. I discovered a few days ago that a platform map reckons there's only about a minute or so difference to get to the Barbican going anticlockwise. I'm not convinced, but am still in experimental mode, so did it.

I'm slightly tired and hungover, so wasn't really paying a lot of attention to anything, but at Westminster I saw a bloke with a standard issue beige raincoat and traditional umbrella, legging it for the tube. "That's Ken Livingstone", I thought, as he got onto the next carriage. This was confirmed by a handful of other people making the same connection as me and looking at him.

This was too good an opportunity to miss for a tube celeb spot, so I moved along my carriage and amazingly he was sitting a couple of seats away from me in the next carriage. It definitely was Ken, as regular visitors may remember that me and Mecca met him last year and had a chat with him. Hardly anyone in his carriage gave the mayor any attention or showed signs of recognition, apart from a guy standing up reading his report on London Transport over Ken's shoulder.

My first picture was a disaster, as waiting for the train to stop, just as I was about to snap, a woman reached over for a Metro and her arm was exactly in front of Ken's face.



Second picture is better, but it is through two panes of glass. Oh yeah, he got off at Blackfriars.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, April 29, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/ken-on-tube.html

A little bit of culture

Arts at Gloucester Road

Gloucester Road (well the District and Circle line bit of it) has always been known as a place where art is displayed in little alcoves along the platform walls. But yesterday as I came back from a meeting there, I heard classical music being played in the ticket area as I went through the barriers.

No buskers around and it was way too good to be a busker anyway. Me and another guy were looking round and staring at the ceiling to see where the sound was coming from. Hardly anyone else looked remotely concerned, particularly a couple of station assistants chatting in the corner.

It was about 11.30, and not many people about, but I certainly didn't notice it when I went steaming through the station and a few hours before. So I asked the station assistant who it was. He didn't know and said "It's just a compilation one of the guys has done from his computer - there's no label on it"

So yet another mystery. It was definitely a piano concerto, something like Satie but definitely not as contemporary. But whatever it was quite soothing, perhaps it will catch on at other stations.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, April 29, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/little-bit-of-culture.html

The things people talk to their partners about

What's unique about Mile End (or Liverpool Street) and how many one unders are there?

Two very weird conversations taking place between boyfriend and girlfriend, strangely both emailed to me today - (have I missed "Have a conversation about the tube with your partner Day"?)

Konstantin from www.londonleben.co.uk emailed me with the following query:

"I overheard a conversation last night - in the tube of course. A guy said to his girlfriend "Apparently there is only one station, where you can start a journey and reach every other tube station by changing trains once only. It's Mile End."

I'm not sure about that. I believe it would work for King's Cross and Liverpool Street as well. Was he just showing off? I spent an hour today on the tube, checking the tube map and I still don't know."

I tended to agree with Konstantin in that it works for Liverpool Street too. King's Cross is a no no, as although it is the station with the most lines running through it, you would have to change twice to get onto the Waterloo and City Line. Anyone any other views?

Also in a fit of morbidity Rachel asked "How many people fall under tubes per year? How many are suicides and how many are accidents?

I reckon about one a week, and my boyfriend reckons one a day. Any idea?".

I could help Rachel by finding out from tubeprune that tube driver District Dave reckons there are about 100 suicides a year. A report on the tube's website from March 2003 says there were only 9 non suicide fatalities that year - or one per 100 million customer journeys.

And I've no idea where I found this out originally but 11am is the peak hour for tube suicides and Victoria and King's Cross the most "popular" stations for them - originally from my tube facts page.

Now I hope the couples go back to arguing about more normal things like who's going to put the bins out.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, April 27, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/things-people-talk-to-their-partners.html

I am not obsessed with men's underwear

I am not obsessed with men's underwear

If I repeat it often enough it will become true. And I can't help it if men send me in pictures of their boxer shorts and likewise I can't help it if men insist on flashing their Calvins to everyone on the Tube.



I never knew men wore colour co-ordinated knickers before. I can't say I have ever, ever, worn a pair of kecks to deliberately match my belt.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Monday, April 26, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/i-am-not-obsessed-with-mens-underwear.html

Today's Metro Momento

Heartbreak at Hither Green

It's the last Monday in the month and the day when Metro try to play Cupid and match commuters who fancy other commuters. Maybe this month's lot are getting more into Lonely Hearts than others I've seen, or maybe the people who make up letters in Metro are coming over all Mills & Boon. This one, from the poetically named Allegra, is a classic:

"Surrounded by Japanese tourists, you were reading John Lennon's Definitive Biography, and my heart went boom. It was the 5.49pm train from Charing Cross to Orpington. When you sat down, you seemed annoyed at the noise being made by the guys behind you. It made me look at you again and if there is such a thing as a thunderbolt of love - I got it. My heart swelled and I couldn't move. I saw you looking at me in the reflection of the window but our eyes only met once and I thought my chest would explode. When I got off at Hither Green, I turned to look back at you and you were doing the same. When you saw me your face broke out into the most beautiful smile. I'm just sorry I didn't give you my number. I'm also sorry because I haven't seen you again because I have looked for you every day since."

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Monday, April 26, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/todays-metro-momento.html

It's Temple

Only station name on the London Underground that's also on the Paris Metro

There you go for all people who may be looking for this answer for a quiz - someone emailed me today and it's one of those things I have stored in my head (for pub quizzes and the like). I was surprised it wasn't easier for Rupert to find through Google than having to come to me first. But I think you would have to already know that it was Temple in order to find the answer.

Ask Jeeves comes up with it if you don't actually ask the question and just input: "station paris metro and london underground", but for once Google lets you down and I think you'd have to try quite a few search combinations (without Temple obviously) to find the answer.

Well perhaps not any more, if Google now sends people this way.

Oh, if anyone wants proof - Temple is on the Circle and District Line of the Tube and on the romantically named Line 3 of the Metro.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Monday, April 26, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/its-temple.html

Summer in London

Summertime and the tubes are buggered

Circle Line completely out of action today. District Line only running to Earl's Court - but hey the sun was shining, as witnessed by the piccie below:



Still didn't put people in a cheerful enough mood to give any dosh to the accordian player on my carriage - I bet he thought he was onto a winner.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Saturday, April 24, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/summer-in-london.html

Fighting Fat at Glamoursmith

I've just come back from a ginormous veggie meal at The Gate in Hammersmith (according to Metro, Alicia Silverstone's favourite restaurant in London) and feel like Monty Python's Mr Creosote, so thought it was kinda appropriate to see a really slim woman reading a book about how to Fight Fat After 40 at Glamoursmith.



Why is it mainly slim people who read dieting books, or is this a myth and I just think that it's only slim people who read dieting books? I was tempted to ask her for a copy as (fooking ell) I will be 40 later this year. She didn't look remotely 40 though so I'm hoping she was just reading for research purposes. Hopefully, she would have said to me "Why you don't look almost 40 yourself either, surely you are just asking me to get a story for your blog, and stop taking pictures of me you mad stalking woman".

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Saturday, April 24, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/fighting-fat-at-glamoursmith.html

Coke Bottles on Film and Boxers Shorts

What will you send in next?

I can't believe I get a number of emails from people sending me various bits and bobs and stories and jpgs and stuff after reading something from the blog. It's really sweet of you all and it's nice to know that my journey is having some sort of effect on other people's commutes or thoughts on the tube.

Asten sent me in a movie of the Coke bottles getting on the tube at Piccadilly Circus (yes you read that correctly even though I thought I was mad when I first saw them in January)



And Ian Dolby finally found those boxer shorts with Shepherds Bush on the front that he'd been waxing lyrical about for ages.



However they didn't have Arsenal on the back of them although he said:

"No Arsenal on the back - but I did say that was a rumour as I hadn't opened the packet. You could also get "Wapping" on the front but modesty (and some would say the Trades' Description Act) prevented me. Actually, Wapping would probably have been a more appropriate rear-printed slogan for the group of American sounding tourists in front of me."

Also thanks to commenting stalwart Bradley for sending me a link to his report of the car that drove onto the District Line yesterday at Kew and screwed up the service between Richmond and Turnham Green for half a day. Fortunately I listen to Capital Radio in the mornings and I heard about it and timed my journey so I could go on by British Snail instead.

Cheers guys much appreciated.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Friday, April 23, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/coke-bottles-on-film-and-boxers-shorts.html

Today's Metro Momento

Why we see red over "I'm on the train" calls

Researchers at York Uni have clearly nothing to do as they've carried out a study on why we find other people's mobile phone conversations irritating. It's nothing to do with the loudness of people saying "I'm on the tube" or "I'm just going into a tunnel" - apparently it's because we don't know what the person on the other end is saying.



The photo above was originally from TubePrune's site and was taken by Donald McGarr.

"What really drives millions of Britons mad is simply, they normally only hear one side of the conversation. 'Conversations only work if there is a general agreement. There is a need to understand what is said and to talk back' said Professor Andrew Monk.

His team exposed 64 people (huge sample - WTF are universities doing?) waiting for a bus or on a train to a staged discussion - half on mobiles and half face to face - at different volumes. In all cases, the phone conversations annoyed volunteers more".

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, April 22, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/todays-metro-momento_22.html

Move along the platform

More or less effective than the mime artists?

After coming back to work from a meeting I noticed that Vauxhall had a much more obvious way of telling people to move down the platform



Oi, it's less crowded you idiots, so don't congregate around the platform near the entrance, move up to the front (or indeed the back) of the train and you may well get a seat.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, April 22, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/move-along-platform.html

The tube have a new band

I thought this was a spoof ad

Or one of those ads that was meant to warn us that doing something or other on the tube - walking slowly, talking, smiling, breathing causes delays.



But apparently there is a real band called "The Delays" - the tube really ought to sponsor them.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, April 22, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/tube-have-new-band.html

Train Tourette's Syndrome

Bless his little cotton socks

On the way to yet another expo today I was standing on the District Line (delays at Kings Cross seemed to have screwed up the whole system) and a little boy in a blue school uniform was munching away on a dairylea and ham cracker sarnie and playing up. When laying on his mother didn't work or bumping into her, he started to recite the names of random train stations - "Sunbury, Addlestone, Staines, Aldgate East, Turnham Green". "Shut up or I'll tell your teacher," his mum said, much to my relief. After all who'd want their son to grow up to be a PA system.

However, in a strange echo of the guy who found offence about the London Marathon Adidas ad in last week's Metro with lots of swear words in it, including "twat", the little boy took a sudden interest in his mum's Metro. So said at top of his voice - "Look they're naked". I looked from my superior standing position and it was some sort of "art" with a picture of two tailor's dummies.

Many thanks to Green Fairy for blogging The Sun's outrage at the London marathon ad:

Rob, of Sheffield, South Yorks, told The Sun: "I was reading it on a break and suddenly I saw the word 't**t'. Imagine the embarrassment of a mum whose six-year-old son is asking her what a 't**t' is?"

Green Fairy said "It's someone who rings up a tabloid newspaper to complain about a mildly rude word appearing in advert in a newspaper only given out first thing in the morning to commuters in case a child somewhere in the country with reading skills far advanced of their age should stumble somehow upon a copy, pick out that word from all the others and march up to their mother in the middle of a church social demanding their childhood innocence be stolen away with an immediate etymological definition, darling."



There's no way this particular little boy would have been able to have read the words on this ad - most five or six year olds are really bored with small type as they find it too difficult to read, but I'm sure he'd have more to say about the half naked women in The Sun, like the "naked" people in Metro. It also took me about twenty minutes to find the offending t word. It'll be easier for you as there's only a small section above, but imagine this as a double page spread.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, April 21, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
Tweet http://london-underground.blogspot.com/2004/04/train-tourettes-syndrome.html

Dot matrix on your desktop

Bakerloo Line users can experience the delights of a tube platform indicator on their desktop

With Tubetrack you can download a little program which sits on your desktop, so you can see when the next three tube trains are supposedly due to arrive at your chosen station.

Hopefully the platform indicators don't include some of the rather random platform indicators I saw a couple of days ago.

Have a look at the tube ETA (estimated time of arrival) website it's based on.

Many thanks to Ralf and Matt who sent me the link to this within four minutes of each other. Cheers guys.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, April 20, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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God, some people are cheerful

Strange Google referrers

I very rarely blog my search engine referrals, but in the last 24 hours, there seem to have been some particularly weird people who came to this blog after looking for the following items - sadly they will be sort of disappointed:

pictures of animals going mad because of trains - that'll be those pesky horses in the tube tunnels - Google think this blog is top - literally - on that one

london marathon 2004 fatalities (how could this blog be the 1st entry?) - fortunately, as far as I know, this year no one died.

pest control london underground - sort of brings up a reference to those pesky horses again - however most of the pests on the Tube are blokes who sit with their legs apart (far more annoying to me than women, myself included, putting on some slap - although it obviously winds some people up)

Great, I also have a stalker - looking for Annie April 2004

And scarily Rob Brydon will now know I've been stalking him

I'll end with my number two slot for "blog people captured by zombies trying to escape"

Fantastic, yet scary. Google I love ya!

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, April 20, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Rhinos on the tube

Congrats to all the marathon runners

It's the first time I've ever been to see the London Marathon in the flesh, and it was quite strange being on the Tube with lots of soaking wet people wrapped in tin foil cloaks wearing strange medallions round their necks (Jimmy Saville in a sauna would have felt at home). Tourists must have wondered WTF was going on, but when they left and saw the streets covered in rhinos, santas, fairies, policemen and firemen in shorts and people dressed as chickens, eggs and toilets they must have finally realised that the Brits are as eccentric as they originally thought.

On the way back, one of the runners, who had fortunately managed to get a seat (you try standing on the tube after running 26.2 miles) was telling his friends about his outward journey and the usual delays, but the driver had tried to lighten things up by saying "Well, at least the delay wasn't caused by a rhino getting stuck in the doors."



I was sort of tempted to grab one of the discarded foil cloaks from a bin and fashion a medal for myself, as all marathon runners got free travel on the Tube today. But I looked pretty much like a sodden, bedraggled, bag lady already, without rummaging in bins too.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Sunday, April 18, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Elephant and Gibberish

The next train is for safdkladshlghlkahgi

OK I know I've been manning an exhibition stand for four days. I can hardly think straight, talk straight or walk straight but it looks like they were really taking the piss with the platform indicators at Piccadilly Circus this evening (Bakerloo Line, southbound for those who care)



Still Elephant & Castle is one of the station names where out of towners and tourists are most likely to think "You're having a laugh aren't you?" so maybe they thought no one would notice.



(To see the best full scan of this map check out Geoff (tube challenge guy) Marshall's link).

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Saturday, April 17, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Where I've been for the last three days

Another DLR day tomorrow

The prospect of riding on more driverless trains beckons tomorrow as I head off to Excel for the last time this week. I actually saw Richard Herring (comedian and big time blogger) on Wednesday and from my stand said "Richard Herring" in a way designed to sound as though I personally knew him. Apart from having had a little banner to his sponsorship page on this blog for quite some time, there's no reason at all for him to know who I am. But bless him, he stopped, as you would, I suppose, if some woman shouted out like a long lost friend. And we had a brief chat, also with his mate Tony Gardner, who now actually looked more familar than his sponsorship page picture.

However, Richard Herring's blog entry from Wednesday summed up my experience of the last three days much more adequately than I could, so here's a bit:

"The Docklands Light Railway was packed with men who looked more like the traditional image of the ostrich: very thin with wide staring eyes (whether through fear or obsession only they could tell you) and no cakes or ale in sight. They were clutching their Marathon magazines, as if in some scenario where they had arranged to meet on a blind date and used that as a means of recognition, only to arrive at the appointed hour to find everyone in the place has a Marathon magazine. "

The rest in context is here.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Saturday, April 17, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Today's Metro Momento

Another "Eats Shoots and Leaves" moment

For some unknown reason Metro had a little box on etiquette - it was fairly tongue in cheek - not being the last person in an email exchange, not putting on your auto "out of office" reply when going to lunch.... etc, etc. It did have a piece of Tube etiquette for men (Christ knows why it was men only) asking them to "give up seats for pregnant and elderly women".

I never thought that elderly women could get pregnant. Unless their definition of elderly is women in their late forties.

Fortunately, on my long train journey to Docklands this morning, I noticed that the North London Link guys got it right, with a sign saying (not asking) to - "give up your seat for a pregnant or elderly person".

Wonder why you never see signs like this on the Tube? Probably cos the head honchos at the Tube are worried about having another grammatical quandry or can't quite cope with the image that would go with it and, like the Japanese, know it would be open to mass spoofing, general confusion or a barrage of letters in Metro.





For more on giving up seats see the tube etiquette section on goingunderground.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Friday, April 16, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Dogs must be carried......

Yeah right

Just try carrying this one



Fantastic picture sent to me from Frank Timmer from www.deutschedoggenfans.de.

For more on one of my favourite signs on the tube - check out this entry.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, April 15, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Two rare pictures from me

You won't see these blogged too often

I had to get up at the crack of dawn to get to an exhibition in the Docklands this morning, so got a rare picture of a full stack of Metro's at Richmond station - there's normally none or only a few left when I get there. (The eagle eyed will see the normal delays on the District Line)



Also, due to the Silverlink train I wanted being cancelled I had to get the DLR and I know you won't believe it, but the only seat available was one at the front of the train. So, in full trainspotter mode, below is a view of tracks from the driver's vantage point. Remember DLR trains don't have drivers and are operated automatically, so it gives you the perfect opportunity to sit in the front seat and pretend to drive the train if you're that way inclined.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, April 15, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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