Today's Metro Momento

The right kind of snow

After the recent snow/london transport problems, I thought it was only a matter of time before there was a "Disgusted of Dulwich" letter in Metro. So this morning we had:

"A quick note to London Underground: the white fluffy stuff currently falling from the sky is called snow. It is not a rain of frogs, The Winged Victory of Samothrace, or Rodan the flying monster. Furthermore it is the right kind of snow (ie the kind that doesn't fall underground), so let's have the trains running properly, eh?

And if you are really stuck, give the Swedish transport authorities a call and ask them how they manage to run a seamless, delay-free service through ice, snow and sub-zero temperatures." Anthony O' Neill, NW1

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Friday, January 30, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Alastair Campbell, Mandy & Down Street

Weird Evening

It's not very often that you can say you were in the same room as Alastair Campbell, Peter Mandelson and Anna Ford. Or see the editor of The Sun Rebekah Wade trying to buy The Hutton Report. But all in the name of charidee, I was this evening. Not going to divulge too much in case I get sued, but also the very worthy Leukaemia Research Fund were involved and the very active London Triathlon too. But enough of my personal life (although if you're really interested it was reported in The Guardian), now here comes the tube bit.

On the way to the room where the media and charity and political movers and shakers were, me and my colleague walked past Down Street. "Oh", I say, tube geek head screwed firmly on "This is where Down Street Tube station used to be. They still make films there occaisionally" (part of the BBC drama Neverwhere was filmed there), "Really," my colleague replied in a bored fashion. "It's amazing where these lost tube stations turn up", I prattled on. "Mmm", replied colleague, "So who else do you think will be there tonight?"



On the way home from room where charity and media and political movers and shakers were, I got to Hyde Park Corner tube and found a door in the platform of the tube which Neil Gaiman (author of Neverwhere) himself would have been proud of. A definite entrance into the mythical London Below where "real" Earls preside over Earl's Court and there are "real" black friars at Blackfriars and "real" knights at Knightsbridge.




Actually funkypancake took a very similar picture of a door at Bank Station. Where do these secret doors lead? And who has the keys to them?

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, January 29, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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On this day in 1962

29th January 1962 - Unofficial tube strike

It was "everybody out" when an unofficial 24 hour London Underground strike was called. Apparently a partial service was maintained in the "central area" by some men staying at work.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, January 29, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Wrong type of snow

Tube is surprised about snow

We have been having for days and days now, weather forecasts predicting snow. In fact it's been snowing in Scotland since the weekend and it's been forecast to move down south and yesterday you couldn't move in Soho for the grit, as Westminster Council had been uber vigilant and gritted every single slope on the pavements. I supposed they're petrified that some new meeja geek, or film luvvie, or one of Belle de Jour's mates will sue the pants off them if they slip and fall.

Last night it actually snowed in London. It's not too heavy where I am right now, but already the tube is like "Oh my God, it's snowing therefore any line that operates in the open is fooked". Anyone reading this blog from last year may remember I actually broke my leg in two places (ie I didn't break it in Sydenham and then in Victoria, my leg bone had two breaks) this time last year. That was through slipping on ice outside a station (British Rail). Jag reported how it took him nine hours to get home when we had the same unexpected snow which basically closed down the outer regions of the Piccadilly Line.

So even though we've been warned about it. Even though we're in the UK which is cold and known to get the odd bit of snow. Why are "underground" lines like the Piccadilly Line and the Metropolitan, and the Jubilee and the Central Lines, which are mostly "overground" still struggling to cope with snow and some parts have no service this morning?

Geek fact number 1,324 - More of the London Underground is overground and in the open than in a tunnel.

Oh yeah, those My Doom virus geeks I mentioned yesterday could definitely help the tube here - how many ways can you say bad weather - This is due to adverse weather, This is due to severe weather conditions, This is due to bad weather conditions.

Any advances on these three currently gracing the London Underground delays site?

Update - Nice to see The Big Smoker sharing these sentiments.

Update 2 - Just in case the London Underground need a further reminder, here's an up to date weather report from Funjunkie. And it's now not just fooking freezing up north, there's heavier snow and it's freezing in London too.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, January 28, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Camera phone people wanted

Get Fifty Quid for taking pictures on your camera phone

I've no idea whether this is legitimate or not, so it's worth checking out the website. But I've just been sent the following email:

Hi,
I work for a Rosslyn Research, a market research company based in London. On behalf of a Multimedia client, we are looking to recruit users of mobile phones with in-built cameras to take part in a survey. The ideal respondent should also be based in London and take more than 30 pictures a month, of which they process 15 a month in some way, eg forwarding to friends or groups, storing and manipulating, uploading to websites or blogs etc. We also aim to include some pairs of friends who exchange pictures on a regular basis.

The survey will consist of the successful respondents keeping a log over four days, including this weekend, whereby they list details regarding the pictures taken (eg for fun, for work related tasks, for research) � there is a payment of �50 for taking part in the survey and completing the log. Thereafter, some respondents will be selected for a second stage, whereby they will be �shadowed� by a representative from our clients company in the circumstances where they would normally take pictures. This session is expected to last from and hour to an hour and a half.

If you are interested in taking part in this survey, please contact me at:

Justin@rosslyn-research.co.uk to discuss the matter further.

I hope to hear from you soon,

Justin Pocknell
Operations Department
Rosslyn Research Ltd

www.rosslyn-research.co.uk.

As I hope you can tell by the quality of the pictures on this blog, I don't use a camera phone and haven't got a camera phone so I won't be taking part.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, January 28, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Not a good day to say hi

Say "hello", then wave goodbye

Sorry another brief digression. After spending virtually my whole day deleting messages from the anal retentive fookwits who thought it hysterical to create the most pathetic useless virus (called, My Doom apparently), I've had the misfortune to encounter. Get a life.

If anyone has had an email from "me" called "hello" or "hi" or "test" or "error" or "blank" at completely made up name at goingunderground.net - it obviously ain't me, it's some fooker with a brain the size of a pea.

You know what mate (by whom I mean inventor of the current virus of the day), why don't you get yourself a job on the tube where your talents could be put to excellent use inventing excuses as to why the trains are running late. Why don't you conjure up some reasons as to why the District Line is a good idea? Then try to figure out why there are many fewer trains running to Ealing Bdway than Richmond? Then do a little sideline in working out ways to persuade people to part with 50p's for the chocolate machines at stations, and then swallow that money. Then invent the whole Oystercard system on your day off and come up with the sad campaign to "touch in and out".

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, January 27, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Teenagers on the tube

My love hate relationship with tube teens

Sorry to any teenagers about to read this, but most of the time I'm not wild about teenagers on the tube. Although this usually applies to packs of teenagers, not groups, London teenagers don't hang around in groups but in packs. They're usually too loud, they're usually giggling or kissing their teeth, they're usually taking up too much space, they're usually in the way and they're usually on their way to somewhere far more exciting than me, which is the main reason why I hate them.

But sometimes I love them. I love their humour. I love their youth. I love the fact that they don't give a shit. I love their clothes. I love their hair. When they're by themselves, I love them more. I love the fact that they are just a little, just a tad, and just a bit shy and unconfident and not quite sure what they're doing amongst the commuting grown ups. Take the girl below, her trainers, her combat mini skirt, the way she's curled up in the corner, the way her feet are crossed and most of all................



her truly excellent folder with the papier mache red leather clad boobies stuck on one of the tarty looking women on her college collage.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Monday, January 26, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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I wish I could speak Dutch

Useful as a icebreaker on parties

Just found a referral to my blog from a Dutch-Canadian Blog, where the blogger, Peter, started off by talking about their favourite T shirt (see below) which is linked to this blog and how the T shirt was "useful as an icebreaker on parties".



There's then a great discussion about all sorts of stuff (from the very rough translation) we have:

"a derogatory picture of the London underground. Some lines are in my experience lekkerder then others"

"I have the shirt with the slogan "Mind the pinch" on udder altitude.."

"I am a supporter of the underground railway in Paris. I find my way there blindly. Terrible system."

"...the underground railway to sit and smell I which strange air of parfum, moquette, adhesive and detergent...."

Then there's a bit of a discussion about cheesecake (WTF), then

"Eh .. London Underground. Laaavely. "

Then I can't understand any more. I just wish there was a better translation tool (The disclaimer at the bottom of the translation says - "Note: This is a computer translation of the original webpage. It is provided for general information only and should not be regarded as complete nor accurate. " - no kidding. Only a third of the page is translated and the machine then thinks, "Oh fook this, I can't be arsed translating the rest of the page" and goes off to do something else - like what? Make some tea, read the papers - it's a computer programme for Christ's sake and it's already getting bored or going for a little lie down).

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Sunday, January 25, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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London Olympics - a new sport involving the London Underground

Race the Tube - my Olympic Bid

I have very little interest in spectator sport or sport of any kind really. The Olympics bores me silly and the idea of it coming to London conjures up nightmares of even more overcrowded tubes, even more confused tourists asking the way to Lie-sester Square and whether it's best to change at the blue line (which blue line, there are two of them?), but the only good thing, might be that the tube finally runs throughout the night in 2012 - whoopeedoo. The Guardian put the current tube to the test for getting around during the Olympics and unsurprisingly find it hopeless and totally confusing for tourists.

Anyway, various bloggers including my colleague Elizabeth and Diamond Geezer have recently been talking about what a real London Olympics would be like if we won the bid to host the games. What would the London Olympic mascot be? What sports would be truly unique to London?

This reminded me of a real race that used to take place in London every April called "Beat the tube race" - try as I might, I've not found anything about this particular race through Google, (I know the tube have their own official Tube Dash) but this man alone against train race is reported in the fab book "Eccentric London".

Basically, it was the idea of a chartered surveyor called Richard Guthrie, who thought it might be fun to outrun a tube train. "A group of determined young professionals, wearing braces and pinstripes, board a Victoria to Wimbledon train, get off at South Kensington and sprint like hell down the Fulham Road to try to get back on it at Fulham Broadway. 1.6 miles and four stops down the line".

Now knowing this is on the District Line with its constant stops between stops and delays, very few people managed to beat the tube. However, the whole thing is totally Pythonesque, with the pin striped suits and braces.

The author of Eccentric London reckons they would stood more of a chance cutting across "the Circle Line from Farringdon down to Blackfriars where you can virtually see the other end. You could do it on crutches, or pogo sticks and still beat the train". Excellent idea and I think it should definitely be an Olympic sport.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Saturday, January 24, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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More Japanese Subway Signs

They are having a laugh

The sign very kindly sent to me by Jag has to be a spoof sign. I'm pretty positive the men being asked to close their legs sign that I've blogged before is real, but this one below has got to be a spoof



Now the funnier thing about this picture is the explanation as to what the dubious looking sign is supposed to mean. Jag says:

"I am told that from left to right - it means:

1. person with injured arm
2. person holding a child
3. pregnant woman
4. person with injured leg

But when I looked at it - it seemed to convey something rather different! If it's not a hoax - then Japan can be an awfully confusing place!"

Update - D'OH I thought this was too good to be true - it definitely looks like a spoof sticker now, but the "original" the "hoax" is based on still looks very funny, see Fernando Serboncini's comments below.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Friday, January 23, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Happy Fridays

Oystercard fooked, tube delays up by 25%, possible strikes

Just another ordinary day on the tube.

Heard on the radio at the Oystercard system had a major failure last Friday, and has gone a bit squid shaped. It means sometimes that people swiping it on the blue thingies, don't get let through the barriers. There's already been a fair amount of comments on this blog about the Oystercard - is it shite? how far away from the blue thingy do you need to be to for the gates to open? is it a government plot so that they all know where Londoners travel to sell on to people who would like to know where all Londoners travel? (Like who else but the London Underground is going to be interested in that level of detail) and that's just for starters.

Yesterday The Evening Standard reported : "Tube passengers are suffering the worst service for more than a decade.

New figures show that delays have risen by almost 25 per cent in the past year, while the proportion of train journeys completed successfully has fallen dramatically."

Err, tell us something we don't know.

And finally to add to the woes, that possible strike I mentioned a few days ago about the tube track workers being "unfairly" sacked for having alcohol on them at work, is definitely on the cards. The thing is with the "Farringdon Five" as they're now being called, I first felt sorry for them, now it appears that over 100 empty cans of beer and cider were found in their mess room. Not wanting to accuse them of drinking on the job, but purleeese, wouldn't they at least have the sense to get rid of the cans. For more see the Evening Standard

Happy Friday.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Friday, January 23, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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What not to do down under

Aussie rules

I must thank, Australian Blogger Daniel Bowen who signed my guestbook this morning after coming from the Bloggies' awards nomination page, to say that he'd helped to write an article about train etiquette in Melbourne. Amazingly it bears a striking resemblance to some of the unofficial tube rules I've reported in my time.

In Oz we have: "Men who wrap their legs round women and constantly touch them", on London's tube we have: "Men who sit with their legs wide apart".

Similar annoyance in Japan too:



In Oz we have: "Mobile phone freaks who love the sound of their own voice", on the tube we have "Talking Loud and saying nothing"

In Oz we have: "Dealing with a greedy double seat user is like dealing with the devil incarnate" on the tube we have "Don't think your bag is entitled to a seat"

In Oz we have: "Public Transport displays of affection is mind numblingly annoying for those who have to share your loved up space", on the tube we have "Being forced to endure slurpy tube snoggers"

But the best Oz one is about giving up your seat to the obviously visably pregnant or elderly (we have the same rule on the tube), but article in Melbourne says
"Just remember we'll all be old or pregnant one day".

Cheers Daniel you've made my day.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Thursday, January 22, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Hellish morning journey & EastEnders

Delays, disruption and Gita out of EastEnders

Jeesus I spent about two hours getting to work this morning, as there were massive problems on the Piccadilly Line, due to a fire engine being called in at Covent Garden. Fortunately we were warned about this at Baron's Court so most of us were able to jump back onto a District Line train which then waited outside South Ken or Gloucester Road, while the driver must have decided to pop out and get a full English Breakfast and read the FT from cover to cover before getting back onto the train and moving it. Anyroad.......

I was on the District Line and I think at Gunnersbury, who should get on but Gita out of EastEnders. Anyone who's read this blog for a while will know that I've been nicknamed the Avid Merrion of the London Underground - ie a celebrity stalker, and if I see a celebrity on the tube, which is as rare as rocking horse shit, I will try to get a picture of them.

Don't get excited though, I've hardly ever seen anyone above C-B list celeb status (which is my point, celebrities rarely use the tube). In the past since doing this blog I've seen & photographed Scud Stud Rageh Omaar, Tonight I'm going to be TV Personality Matthew Kelly and seen, tube flick Sliding Doors actor John Hannah and the Fifth Dr Who Peter Davison. Now I can add actress Shobu Kapoor who played the diminutive Gita Kapoor part of the token Asian family, and arrived on the BBC soap in 1993.

OK so here are the pictures, I can't believe people have been waiting to see them:



Bear in mind I recognised her voice on the mobile before I recognised her, which is something only a truly sad EastEnders fan would do:



Final shot, is about as close as I could do without looking like a complete stalker:



She's put on some make up by this stage, and the ones of her putting on lippy and eyeliner were simply too blurry as the train was moving at this point in time.

So there we have it, X list celeb on the tube. Although she's probably more famous that some of the people in the latest round of "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here".

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, January 21, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Everybody Out

Another tube strike threat

Just when we thought we were free of industrial action following the suspension of the sacked sickie squash player strike just before Xmas, I've just heard that we may have another strike on our hands. Apparently, six tube track workers were "unfairly" dismissed as it was claimed that they were in possession of alcohol or possibly found drunk on the London Underground.

I can't find any news about this on the net yet, doubtless it will come later on. But my friends were talking about a TV programme "Pissed on the Job" which was on Channel 4 a few days ago. And one found the most scary story to be that of the London Underground station manager who was pissed on the system:

""Ian", in his late thirties, is a London Underground station manager. He admits to having driven trains while drunk, drinks heavily before and during work, and has fallen asleep on the job. His family have left him and at one stage he was sleeping rough. " said The Scotsman.

If the guys that the strike is over were drunk, it is incredibly, incredibly scary, but if they weren't it's a major slur on their character, and the RMT railway union seem to be fairly quick to bring the tubes to a halt in these situations (as with the sickie squash player). More on this will follow when I find out more.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Wednesday, January 21, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Tube Radio Ads & Oystercards

We heart Oystercard

Currently listening to the radio before heading off to work and I've just heard an ad which follows the theme of how you can buy your Oystercard London Transport travel pass at any time. It went very, very roughly like:

Woman shouting: "Love, why's there's a station assistant in my fridge?"

"Don't worry it's just to show how you can buy an oystercard at breakfast time."

We saw this theme before on December 9th, with the "Happy Chinese Family at the Breakfast Table with Friendly Black Ticket Man in the background" poster.

Oh yeah, and there's definitely the same reggae music playing in the background as the London Underground cinema ads with people riding llamas and dressed in doublet and hose. Don't ask. It's all too early and surreal for me.

Are you getting Touchy about the Oystercard? - see the comments below this picture and add your views:

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, January 20, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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More Referrals

Falling asleep in degrees, kucken

One of the things I've really loved about this blog getting award nominations and almost winning awards, is that I do get a much wider audience than the UK. As I have no language skills and can only speak Cockney, I have to use "Google translate" or other web translation tools to find out what some of the sites are saying.

My favourite today is from Supatyp. There's a picture of the woman with the eye shaped hole in her fish net tights and in German says:

Viel, viel mehr wie nur gute Fottos ausser U-Bahn! Runterscrollen und mal die Dame, die grad eingeschlafen ist, kucken!

Google's rough translation of this is:

"Much, much more like only good Fottos except underground ! Runterscrollen and times the lady, which fell asleep degrees, kucken!"

I'm sure my friend Ralf - The Cartoonist and fellow blogger Horst - The Aardvark or anyone else who can speak German would be able to enlighten me on how close to the truth this is.

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Tuesday, January 20, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Polite Piccadilly Line PA

Please get up for pregnant ladies, pregnant men can stand

Left work quite late this evening and had the misfortune to get on a train that was doing a massive stop, start, stop, start or rather a massive stop in tunnel. The stop that gets to the level where people are starting to get a bit worried and look round at each other, and start muttering and get hot under the collar and start to think "I don't want to suffocate and share my last breath with these people, get me out of here now".

But our driver kindly gave us a running commentary at each of the long stops between stops saying it was due to a defective train in front of us.

By the time I got a seat, he gave the following fairly lengthy announcement which bought a smile to the face of everyone in the carriage - click here to hear him. It was really sweet how he was sounding so earnest about people feeling faint, and going off to seek the more than happy station staff and assistants who would have glasses of cool water to refresh them. You almost expected that you'd get a little head message or shoulder rub when you got off too.

What made this funnier to our carriage is that ours was at the back of the train and so relatively uncrowded, a few people were standing, but the idea of feeling faint and claustrophobic had long passed. So the need for the flashing dot matrix sign below, was a bit, well, needless for us



The sign actually said "Move down please", and was not an instruction you might find on Belle de Jour's site (Let the bitching begin, mwah, ha, ha).

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Monday, January 19, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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VOTE FOR ME, VOTE FOR ME

Bloggies 2004, the votes are open

OHMIGOD - I have just got back from a four hour meeting, handled all my work emails, responded to the comments people had made in the comments section, not looked at my stats and thought, "Oh I wonder who got nominated in the bloggies" and I did. Wow, for two categories too, Best British and Irish Weblog (along with GreenFairy.com, The Big Smoker, Plasticbag.org and A Teenager blogs) and Best Topical Weblog (along with Belle de Jour, The Joy of Soup, The Agonist and Bookslut).

So all I can say is thanks to everyone who nominated me, thanks to the judges for shortlisting me and if you could vote for me that would be fab. Unlike The Guardian Awards, the Bloggies are voted on by the public. So I'm going to get all BAFTA'ish and say "These Awards would mean so much to me as they are voted for by you, the public".

Thanks again, good luck to everyone else who was nominated and the closing date for votes is 31st January 10PM EST (don't ask me what that is in GMT I'm still in shock)

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Monday, January 19, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Blogging on Radio Four

And now for some navel gazing

Allow me a moment's diversion from the tube, just cos I was so incensed when I heard it.

Weblogs have definitely arrived in the UK, The Guardian Awards bring blogging to the public eye each year and now the BBC's latest outing of them was on Radio 4 on Friday in The Message - our regular look at the media with a panel of writers including politician Tony Benn, crime writer Val McDermid and Alan Taylor (a writer and journalist, I'd never heard of). Jenni Murray introduced the idea of blogs in the typical Aunty Beeb way......"And then there are the bloggers the people that write their own weblogs" - "weblogs" pronounced in a way like she was describing something unspeakable that you would have found behind the sink (you can listen to it here).

It looked promising when Tony Benn said: "Bloggers are publishing personal journalism"

Val McDermid (who Jenni Murray labels a "computer fan") says that as a writer, she'll look at the ordinary diary for research purposes. But then makes the following comment about blogs "The vast majority are not worth the time it took to type them into the keyboard. As with so many things on the internet there is a democracy of access but no democracy of talent......A lot of them are almost sub Bridget Jones, and you can see there's with a desparate trying and a striving for effect and to get onto The Guardian's list of best blogs."

She continues "The vast majority are just a waste of time"

Jenni getting into her stride now, eggs Val on and says "and of very little use and will go into ether".

Val concludes: "Yes, thankfully".

So as far as the Beeb are concerned, it's alright if you are Stuart Hughes and are a "proper writer and journalist", but even if you are writing stuff which other writers may use for research one day to understand what life which like at the turn of this century, that's not any use.

Interestingly, Jenni Murray was waxing lyrical about blogging for women several months ago, when a personal favourite of mine - Pixel Diva was on Women's Hour talking about blogs. In fact their researcher even got hold of me and "auditioned" me for the interview. I have a feeling I was a bit too unusual or blokey for a woman as I was not supposed to blog about trains but about relationships and traumas and use my blog as therapy (which incidentally I do - stops me going mad on the tube).

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Monday, January 19, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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Isle of Wight Tube

The Grandaddy of tube trains

Thanks to Bradley yesterday who made a comment saying that I wouldn't want to end up falling asleep, getting to Heathrow and sleepwalking to a plane bound for the Isle of Wight, where they have 1938 tube trains running. If I was going to sleepwalk onto a plane I'd hope that I would be bound for somewhere far more exotic than the Isle of Wigget.

However, this reminded me that fellow blogger Stuart went home to the Isle of Wight for Xmas and took some pictures on his camera phone:



Stuart said: "I live on the Isle of Wight, which has a small and rather...erm, quaint rail service. It was rated as the most punctual in the nation when someone gave out stats without taking into account the fact that they only have three trains and one line, which is itself about nine miles long in total.

Anyway, the bit I thought you'd be interested in is that they are old Tube Trains...and I mean OLD. Most of the inside is still wooden panelling, wooden floors etc etc and they maintain the old purple London Transport livery. Needless to say coming home it was a bit odd having been on the Piccadilly/Northern Line earlier in the day, to go across the Island on what must be like the Grandaddy of the newer trains."

London Underground; Tube Posted by annie mole Sunday, January 18, 2004 Permalink COMMENT HERE
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